Goblins, ghouls, fairies and the souls of the departed are threatening to boycott Halloween this year, according a union spokesperson.
‘They’re just shit scared of British schoolchildren’, explained the Grim Reaper, head of the Amalgamated Union of Paranormal Manifestations. [read...]
‘Usually the grown-ups just pretend to be scared,’ said one eight-year-old. ‘But at all the houses with Republican posters in the windows, they’ve been genuinely terrified.’ [read...]
Jehovah’s Witness kept talking all evening after making mistake of opening door to trick-or-treaters
Became embroiled in a painful three-hour discussion about the true meaning of the festival and its significance to modern society. [read...]