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Posts Tagged ‘TV’

Britain celebrates 60 glorious years in front of the television

June 3 1953 was a very special day for the British people. Most of the millions who sat in someone else’s home squinting at crackling black and white images of the Queen’s coronation could scarcely have dreamed that, 60 years on, this new-fangled invention would have liberated them from the need to interact with any other human being.

‘I remember kneeling on the front room in Mr and Mrs Parker’s next door transfixed by it all,’ says Norman Rice, now a sprightly 72-year-old from Accrington, who watches repeats of Last of the Summer Wine around the clock on Yesterday. ‘Of course in them days people didn’t really get TV etiquette. You just had to put up with the old dears yattering on in the background about the coronation robes and the smell of wee from Mrs Parker’s senile old grandad.’

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2013
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British Soap Awards wins Most Pointless Event in the Universe Award

Planet earth rejoiced last night after it was revealed the Intergalactic Federation had awarded the British Soap Awards the prize for Most Pointless Event in the Known Universe.

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Posted: May 21st, 2013
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BBC to make programme names brutally honest

A spokesperson for the BBC said that title changes already under consideration include replacing ‘Top Gear’ with ‘Three Big Kids Dicking Around in Cars’, and renaming ‘Coast’ to ‘Enthusiastic Scottish Man Waving His Arms Around’, whilst ‘EastEnders’ will almost certainly become ‘Moaning Gits Depressing Everyone to Death’.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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‘What Do You Think You’re Doing?’ to rival TV’s ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’

A new Channel 5 show aimed at taking on the UK’s favourite genealogy programme will reveal more of celebrities’ personal lives by creeping up when they least expect it, and asking the very pointed question which is also the title of the show.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2012
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Sales of big screen TVs slump as people start sitting closer

Sales of large screen LCD TVs have nose-dived as people have realised that the same affect can be obtained by moving the chair closer to the television.

‘This has saved me a fortune’, said Chas Porter of Basildon, ‘and that whole surround-sound effect can be achieved by simply turning up the volume.’

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2012
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