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Posts Tagged ‘TV’

Sales of big screen TVs slump as people start sitting closer

Sales of large screen LCD TVs have nose-dived as people have realised that the same affect can be obtained by moving the chair closer to the television.

‘This has saved me a fortune’, said Chas Porter of Basildon, ‘and that whole surround-sound effect can be achieved by simply turning up the volume.’

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2012
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Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family

'leave it Santa, it ain't worth it'It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery.

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Posted: Dec 23rd, 2011
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Radio News to warn listeners about items with flash photography

A familiar TV news catchphrase is to make its way onto radio, warning listeners about upcoming reports that feature the sounds associated with flash photography.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2011
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Stunned scientists discover Stephen Fry ‘of only average intelligence’

“Our findings really shook us”, said Dr Havers, an expert in the field of perceived wisdom. “We found a causal link between ‘reading out obscure facts on television’, and an assumption by the public that he doesn’t sometimes leave his shoes in the fridge.

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2011
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Dumpiness epidemic caused by widescreen TVs, say experts

remoteThe increasing numbers of squat and dumpy children in British families is not due to poor diets and a lack of exercise as first thought but is, experts believe, a symptom of the proliferation of widescreen televisions in the nation’s homes.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2011
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