Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.
Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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Revenge fantasies have been dashed today after it was revealed that all those who bullied you at school now have pretty good lives, and are not begging on the street or trapped in dead-end jobs after all.
The new survey reveals that, despite their lack of formal qualifications from school, many have worked their way up and found highly aspirational careers using exactly those skills they gained pushing you around and laughing at your inadequacies.
Posted: Jan 3rd, 2015
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NATS spokesman Michael Lovelace said: ‘Too many near misses and the programme locks you out. We either need 30,000 likes or one of the other NATS in Europe to send us a life. We’ve got our technicians updating Facebook and Twitter constantly in the hope we’ll reach the target by this evening.’
Posted: Dec 15th, 2014
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The marginal constituency of Trumpton East & Chigley is “absolutely on our list of winnable seats”, says UKIP, after persuading local residents that it is actually a real party, not something made up to entertain children.
Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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A man has stunned the world of social media by recanting his formally ‘bulletproof’ assertions made on the Internet, it can be revealed.
Forum user ‘Conspiri_Sim0n’, 37 , from ‘Hobbiton on the Shire’ said that he wished to withdraw comments 4 thru 317 from a discussion thread below a YouTube video on Tuesday, in a move thought to be the first of its kind since the demise of Netscape Navigator. ‘Furthermore I would like to apologise to the concerned user, and concede that after careful consideration that I find her points plausible and moreover, likely correct in respect of the dispute to which we were party to’ he went on, ‘Her logical rebuttal of my reactionary rhetoric has largely invalidated my position.’
Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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