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Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

‘Proper celebrity’ funerals to replaced by Twitter

Prompted by the way minor celebrities take to Twitter to announce their sadness at the death of a real celebrity they never met and hope their tweet is reported on TV, the microblogging site is to offer a new celebrity funeral service.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Middle East peace breaks out after cutting Twitter meme

Israelis, Sunni and Shia Muslims, Druze and Yazidis danced arm in arm last night after agreeing that John Stevens of Luton had completely ‘nailed it’ in a JPG he tweeted at 00.13 on Sunday that totally summed up the hypocrisy on all sides and proved that everyone was equally right and wrong on everything.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
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New English GCSE to require all answers to be less than 140-characters

Efforts to modernise the dated GCSE English syllabus have been announced by the Department for Education today. All GCSE English answers will be required to adhere to the 140-character limit to prepare students for a future in social media.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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Twenty-minute Facebook outage leaves millions of dinners unphotographed

A global panic was triggered on Friday evening after a twenty-minute Facebook outage left millions of users unable to upload sepia-toned pictures of what they were having for tea. The downtime, which is the second the network has experienced in as many months, also left many unable to tag themselves in the airport, share even more photos of their dogs, or tell people that they’re waiting for a BT engineer to arrive.

42-year-old Sandra Hough from Birmingham, who religiously shares a photo of a bottle of Summer Fruits Kopparberg with the telly in the background on a Friday, was also left frustrated. ‘This is the one time of the week I get a few hours to relax and take several photos of my drink, but it’s totally meaningless if I’m unable to show the whole f***ing world. I haven’t spoken to these people for decades, but it’s imperative that they know when I’m trying to relax with an artificially flavoured cider’.

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2014
More from UK News



Internet now with ‘Auto-Adolf-Comparison’ feature

A new internet feature is being activated which auto-corrects all similes and metaphors so that they reference Hitler.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
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