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Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

‘Amen’ must be pronounced with ‘ah’ sound, tweets God

God has confirmed, via his official Twitter account, that with immediate effect only prayers ending with Amen pronounced correctly, with an ‘ah-’ at the start rather than an ‘ay-’ will actually count.’ I have become increasingly disturbed with the number of you who are using #amen without understanding how to pronounce it. #learntospeak #ayholes #amen,’ He tweeted.

This was picked up and retweeted over 300,000 times in 24 hours, with many people confused about exactly what God had meant and how He wanted it pronounced. But God cleared this up soon after by retweeting @harry_uk_croydon’s tweet: ‘RT @harry_uk_croydon: SHUT UP FUCKERS, it’s AH-MEN, AY-MEN is just FUCKING STUPID #amen #ayholes”, which God soon followed by posting: “New #commandment. If thou say ay-men thou will get DOUBLE THE CANCER. #ayholes #amen.’

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2015
More from Faith

No point arguing with you in this mood, FA tells England Lionesses

The Football Association has defended itself over the furore about its allegedly sexist tweet on the return of the England Lionesses team from the Womens’ World Cup. It has accused critics of ‘completely overreacting, as usual’ and declaring that ‘it’s no use arguing with you when you’re in this kind of mood’.

The tweet, which welcomed the Lionesses back as ‘mothers, partners and daughters’, has caused outrage among fans of the team, which enjoyed the most success of any England team in a World Cup since 1966. The FA has responded by deleting the offending message, replacing it with ‘Fine, have it your way… #cantbloodywincanI’ but strongly denied that it is an inherently sexist organisation.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2015
More from Sport

Suicide bombing ‘should be illegal for Under 18s’

‘If he had been 18 – well, fair enough. Eighteen is fine. In fact, if he’d been in his twenties I’d have been positively bored by the story.’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Twitter gaffe about miners sends Miliband into lead

lead could be reversed if Ed eats another bacon sandwichAn unlikely Twitter phenomenon and an illiterate Conservative candidate have combined to propel Labour fifteen points clear in the latest YouGov poll.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2015
More from Politics

Social media survey reveals no one cares about your exercise updates

The damning results of the survey which polled all users everywhere, confirm public fears that exercise and gym related ‘boasting’ is now the third most irritating status update, just behind pictures of your nauseating pets or the latest Jamie Oliver recipe you slopped onto a square plate.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief