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Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

Miliband to acquire white van and visible bumcrack

‘As it goes I favour the Transit, long wheelbase. It’s a classic innit. None of your foreign shite, Renault or whatever, as driven by some Latvian with a PHd in Economics, a thriving decorating business in Chigwell and a brother on benefits and probably out grooming or dogging most nights. Send ‘em back where they belong, is what I say, subject to the Human Rights Act and existing EU Legislation and the employment needs of a newly recovering economy.’

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2014
More from Politics



Internet to be deleted

Faced with overwhelming numbers of cat pictures and unchallenged pseudo-political rants in the form of blogs, the brains behind some of the biggest websites in the world have decided that enough is enough. They will delete everything from the Internet at the turn of the new year and require users to start again from scratch.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK ‘revenge porn’ threat if Scotland walks

In a last desperate ploy to save its marriage, the UK has posted a veiled threat on Facebook to publish ‘candid pictures’ of Scotland, unless they pull back from separation. The pictures, said to feature the feisty northern lass in various stages of undress, were taken several years ago when the union was a ‘happy affair’.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
More from News In Brief



iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Vengeful kids upload pictures of adults returning to work after holidays ‘looking like sh*t’

Facebook is experiencing a major surge in photo uploads from children this week, appearing to show their tired and weary parents returning to work ‘looking like sh*t’ after their summer holidays.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief