‘Right from the start we discarded teams of weapon carrying bodyguards, and today the teams of suits you see accompanying him on public appearances are all advisers and censors – mainly preparing public apologies for immediate release’.
Posted: Jan 9th, 2012
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Retailers up and down the internet have reported a busy Christmas Day as people looked for another way to avoid prolonged contact with loved ones. It is thought that in the modern world of ever decreasing attention spans, most people can tolerate 1 hour 30 minutes of interaction with humans before needing to check Facebook and Twitter, and spend money they haven’t got online.
Posted: Dec 26th, 2011
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A young single mother from Hounslow, West London has apologised after yesterday’s mass internet disruption, blamed on a tweet she posted early yesterday morning claiming that Justin Bieber was gay.
Posted: Dec 15th, 2011
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‘Still, everyone loved the Moira Stewart character, and her ‘tax doesn’t have to be taxing’ line really stole the show.’
Plucky 20 year-old Belinda Baron had to abandon her attempt to be recognised as the youngest person to reach the South Pole on skis, after becoming cut off from all social networks for nearly 72 hours.
Posted: Nov 20th, 2011
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