Meteorologists were today said to be ‘cautiously optimistic’ that the skies over much of Britain would tonight be the gloomiest in living memory. ‘You might think a grey sky is a grey sky is a grey sky,’ [read...]
Despite us having just sweltered in record August temperatures, with the mercury rising to its highest level ever over the Bank Holiday, a disappointing study has found that the British seaside is still a shit place to have a vacation. [read...]
A leaked memo has revealed that the Government is considering raising the state pension age to ‘one day after your heart stops working’. At 75, this pension will be past the life expectancy of parts of the UK and only obtainable if you are a White Walker or Dr. [read...]
A secret email from the US ambassador in London addressed to President Donald Trump describes Tory leadership hopeful Boris Johnson as “the greatest man on earth”. The confidential communication was apparently intercepted by a hacker who passed it on to the Beano and Viz comics in what appears to be a politically motivated move that… [read...]
With Britain’s recent heatwave now nothing but a dim and distant memory of some twelve hours ago, The Met Office has urged everyone to be extremely careful now that temperatures and conditions have reverted to the more normal Summer state of ‘cool and changeable’. [read...]
