With Britain’s recent heatwave now nothing but a dim and distant memory of some twelve hours ago, The Met Office has urged everyone to be extremely careful now that temperatures and conditions have reverted to the more normal Summer state of ‘cool and changeable’. [read...]
An industry survey has revealed that almost half of prospective buyers believe it will take them seven years or more to raise the deposit they need to purchase a season ticket allowing them to travel to work by train. [read...]
Panic buyers have given up stockpiling toilet paper and have gone for the next cheapest equivalent – the UK currency. The holographic £20 has become the perineal cleaner of choice, with the Queen’s face reassuringly starring back at you; [read...]
Following on from Brexit Party MEPs reaching ‘peak bell end’ on their last day in the European Parliament, European Commission President, Ursula von der Layen, has ordered that the EU’s stock of Union Jacks should be sold to Iran at a bargain-basement sale price, [read...]
In an embarrassing moment for the EU, its final farewell to Britain today was unfortunately mistranslated as “So long, and thanks for all the fish”. In a hastily written apology, the Spanish delegate said they hadn’t meant to be quite so honest about their feelings, [read...]
