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Posts Tagged ‘uk’

Russian invasion would infringe US/UK copyright

Invasion American as apple pie and high school massacres

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2015
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Nation decides to have ‘duvet year’

will be up again in time for the OlympicsBritain woke up this morning, opened the curtains, took one look at 2011 and decided to go back to bed for the next 12 months.

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
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UK blasts ‘uncaring’ US after Obama hails historic relationship with Poland

Gdansk for the memoriesUK diplomats have asked for urgent reassurances from the US after news reports that President Barack Obama has ‘rekindled’ the special relationship between Poland and the USA.

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Posted: May 23rd, 2014
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Cornwall secedes, calls in Welsh help

Less than 24 hours after being granted UK minority status, Cornish independence party Mebyon Kernow have announced the county has seceded from Great Britain with immediate effect and can now be considered a separate country. Teams of civil engineers and demolition experts began simultaneous action to destroy road and rail bridges and widening the Tamar to place a 300 metre water border between themselves and Devon.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2014
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