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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

God, Allah and Jehovah struggle to agree on live TV debate format

...and what about the Zoroastrians?Despite increasing strife between their respective followers and the impending Judgement Day in which the sheep may or may not be separate from the goats and the unbelievers may or may not be cast into the eternal pit of fire, it has emerged that God, Allah and Jehovah are still unable to agree on the format of their long-awaited live TV debate.

The main bone of contention is said to be whether or not other gods should be included, while there have also been calls for a separate debate to the north, where Odin is seen as a serious contender. Jehovah, a jealous god, has refused point blank to appear on the same platform as Ba’al or Marduk, while Allah insists that no other gods can take part in the debate because they don’t exist anyway.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
More from Politics



Enoch Powell Pound Shop to close

'easing the economic burden of immigration' since 1968Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
More from Business



Election campaigns kick start five months of uninterrupted lying

best to hide under the sofa until it's all overWith fingers crossed, fidgeting and winking to the camera, Prime Minister David Cameron fired the starting pistol to the longest sustained stream of affluent effluent in electoral history. He was swiftly joined by the leaders of all the main political parties keen to shovel on extra dollops of steaming manifesto do-do’s and don’t-don’ts.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2015
More from Politics



UK crime to be made legal

All acts previously considered criminal are to be made legal, the Government has announced today. ‘We’re positively chuffed that our economy has overtaken France’s thanks to prostitution and the ever popular illegal drugs industry,’ said Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief



George Osborne to bring back Rickets‏

Benefit deductible, so everyone wins!As he rolls back public finance to the 1930s, the Chancellor has announced a return to a golden age of austerity this week.

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
More from Politics