UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…
Following the success of the UK Independence Party in many local elections where they gained huge numbers of seats, often without candidates setting out what they intend to do about the wide spectrum of issues confronting the electorate, or even turning up, the party insists it has listened to the public and intends to find some really good policies, and pretty damned soon.
UKIP insists that in the finest traditions of British commerce ever since the glorious 1950′s, that of course will mean ignoring the best that the British policy industry can offer and catching the first plane to China to source them at a fraction of the cost.
Posted: May 10th, 2013
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At its first meeting since the recent election when UKIP won 17 of its seats, Kent County Council today put to tender an order for 102 million cubic metres of concrete which will be used on the front line in the fight against immigration by filling up the channel tunnel.
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Fears of a huge influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria have given way to indignation after a poll showed workers from the two countries are preparing to ‘avoid Britain like the plague’, when movement restrictions are eased later this year.
Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
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No. 10 Downing Street has confirmed in a statement early this morning that a raft of cuts to benefits due to kick in today were merely an elaborate prank played out for the last few months on the British public, and that the drastic measures would not now go ahead.
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