UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union… [read...]
Fenella Johnson said that she was delighted to hear the easily recognised call of the annual spring immigrant while out walking her dog earlier in the month but believes she may have witnessed the first implementation of a new ‘British Skies for British Birds’ [read...]
Since Britain left the European Union two-weeks ago, one Mrs Farage has been trying to remind her husband Nigel that he is now free to regrout the grotty old tiles in the bathroom. “I asked Nigel to do something about those tiles back in the spring of 1992,” [read...]
‘We considered insisting on photo ID, but apparently anybody can take a photo these days,’ said a government advisor. [read...]
Lapland has warned Britain that this year could be its last Christmas after stating that there would be no favourable treatment of the UK once it leaves the EU. ‘You can’t have your mince pie and eat it,’ Santa warned the UK today. [read...]
