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New government rule states voters have to be recognised by Laura Kuenssberg
‘We considered insisting on photo ID, but apparently anybody can take a photo these days,’ said a government advisor. [read...]
Tagged UKIP
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Santa rules out UK-Lapland trade deal
Lapland has warned Britain that this year could be its last Christmas after stating that there would be no favourable treatment of the UK once it leaves the EU. ‘You can’t have your mince pie and eat it,’ Santa warned the UK today. [read...]
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May admits basing strategy on game shows
‘You’ve all already guessed that our Brexit strategy has been a two year long version of Deal or No Deal’ [read...]
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Terrorist group UKIP announces new leader and vows revenge
So-called UK Independence Party (UKIP), the once-feared terror organisation, has confirmed the termination of its leader, Richard Braine, and has vowed to ‘avenge the party’s enemies’ with ‘refreshed waves of divinely ordained havoc’. In a recording posted on its propaganda channel, [read...]
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Boris already regretting October 31st tattoo
The tattoo removal apparently took over two hours and according to Louis, was one of the most enjoyable removals he has ever undertaken. [read...]