NewsBiscuit

British voters casting their votes in the elections for the European Parliament have sent a clear message to the politicians that they are solidly against them ‘going on about really complicated stuff that we don’t really understand’. A demand for simpler, more straight forward issues is the recurring theme that is emerging from the results across the country.

‘How would the European Charter of human rights affect employment prospects in Britain’s service industries?’ asked Colin Taylor one of the voters interviewed outside his polling station on Thursday, ‘I haven’t got the foggiest; it’s all far too subtle and nuanced for me, and I deeply resent the fact. For this reason I’ll be making a futile protest vote with one of those extreme little parties who have clearly thought about all that stuff even less than I have.’

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2009
More from Politics

A detailed study of the causes of public houses closures across the country has pinpointed the boring and bigoted conversation of publicans as the main cause. A survey of thousands of customers revealed that they had stopped going to their local pub due to endless wearisome tirades against the Euro, health and safety legislation and ‘political correctness gone mad’.

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Posted: May 29th, 2009
More from News In Brief

Shopkeepers and local services in Kent are conspiring not to understand a word that UKIP leader Nigel Farage says whenever he comes into their shops. Rashish Mahmoud, of Mahmoud’s Food & Wine told reporters, ‘It’s just to mess with his head really, nothing…oh shit, here he comes…what what? Hello please? No paper deliverings today? Yes, yes… We have many, many newspapers…Goodbye please? As I was saying it’s nothing personal, it’s just a bit of a laugh…’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2009
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