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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

‘Mr Straight Banana’ to revive UKIP campaign

In an attempt to rejuvenate their stumbling general election campaign, UKIP have unleashed their secret weapon. ‘Mr Straight Banana’, who is eight foot tall and bright yellow, will accompany UKIP candidates to key marginals in the South-East.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2015
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Nigel Farage seeks TV debate in bikinis with Daily Mail’s Paul Dacre

could increase the Daily Mail's circulation if he had a column Paul Dacre ‘must also turn up in skimpy, alluring swimwear’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2015
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Farage accuses left foot of being left wing

the choice is simple, ask yourself; 'Do I need this?'Nigel Farage has vowed to shoot himself in the foot after accusing it of being ‘a socialist’. UKIP supporters were concerned when Mr Farage started addressing his left foot as ‘Michael’ and accusing it of treachery. He also addressed his right foot as ‘Margaret’, stroking it lovingly in an interview on Breakfast Time.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
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Farage denounces Peppa Pig as EU propaganda

halal, kosher, let's not get into that...Nigel Farage has once again given voice to the unspoken thoughts of the majority by claiming children’s television is being infiltrated by EU propaganda. ‘Our children are being brainwashed,’ he said. ‘They don’t have a chance – by the time they’re old enough to vote, they think it’s perfectly normal to know what halloumi is.’

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2015
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Porn star UKIP candidate to appear in X-rated party political

‘John tells her that he’s come to inspect her pipes,’ explained director George Winters. She says “I was expecting a Polish plumber” at which point John delivers a three-minute monologue about the damage being done by the influx of cheap eastern European labour before pointing out that he has the biggest toolbox in the EU.’.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2015
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