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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

‘Farage is messing with our heads’ complains Tory spokesman

No-one from UKIP was available for comment but rumours were circulating Westminster that Nigel Farage had left his lap-top on while his student grandchildren were staying over Christmas.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
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Cameron evacuates staff from ‘Bongo-Bongo’ Embassy.

‘Many people will have misunderstood Mr Bloom’s comments as the incoherent ramblings of a racist idiot, but these small nations are easily marginalized’.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2013
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European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
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UKIP to outsource policy-making to China

it was always in the manifesto if you'd only bothered to read itFollowing the success of the UK Independence Party in many local elections where they gained huge numbers of seats, often without candidates setting out what they intend to do about the wide spectrum of issues confronting the electorate, or even turning up, the party insists it has listened to the public and intends to find some really good policies, and pretty damned soon.

UKIP insists that in the finest traditions of British commerce ever since the glorious 1950′s, that of course will mean ignoring the best that the British policy industry can offer and catching the first plane to China to source them at a fraction of the cost.

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Posted: May 10th, 2013
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UKIP Councillors bid to fill channel tunnel with concrete

At its first meeting since the recent election when UKIP won 17 of its seats, Kent County Council today put to tender an order for 102 million cubic metres of concrete which will be used on the front line in the fight against immigration by filling up the channel tunnel.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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