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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

Council removes Lib Dem politician from Tory foster couple

hoping to regain some self-esteem one dayDeputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, was today taken into care by Westminster City Council on the grounds that his foster parents, a Mr and Mrs Cameron, belong to a political party with ‘a warped view of the world’.

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Posted: Nov 26th, 2012
More from Politics



EU recalibration means the eradication of little old ladies by 2014

Ladies over the age of 65 and under 145cm (4’9’’) will be classed as ‘Petite or Small’, those between 145cm and 165cm (5’5’’) will be ‘Moyenne or Medium’, and those above 165cm will be ‘Grande or Tall’.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2011
More from News In Brief



E.U. voters deliver damning indictment of complex issues

demands for simpler, more straightforward issues British voters casting their votes in the elections for the European Parliament have sent a clear message to the politicians that they are solidly against them ‘going on about really complicated stuff that we don’t really understand’. A demand for simpler, more straight forward issues is the recurring theme that is emerging from the results across the country.

‘How would the European Charter of human rights affect employment prospects in Britain’s service industries?’ asked Colin Taylor one of the voters interviewed outside his polling station on Thursday, ‘I haven’t got the foggiest; it’s all far too subtle and nuanced for me, and I deeply resent the fact. For this reason I’ll be making a futile protest vote with one of those extreme little parties who have clearly thought about all that stuff even less than I have.’

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2009
More from Politics



Pub closures down to landlords praising UKIP

A detailed study of the causes of public houses closures across the country has pinpointed the boring and bigoted conversation of publicans as the main cause. A survey of thousands of customers revealed that they had stopped going to their local pub due to endless wearisome tirades against the Euro, health and safety legislation and ‘political correctness gone mad’.

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Posted: May 29th, 2009
More from News In Brief



Shopkeepers near UKIP leader’s home pretending not to speak English

goodbye please
‘What what? Goodbye please?’’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2009
More from World News