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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

UKIP to unveil biggest fruitcake yet

‘I can tell you this guy – oh yes, or woman – will really give the mainstream parties with their straight-laced candidates something to think about,’ Farage said. ‘This is the fruitcake to beat all fruitcakes, present company excepted.’

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2015
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Conservatives rule out coalition with themselves if they win general election

Speaking to the press today, Prime Minister David Cameron was adamant there was no possibility of the Conservatives forming a coalition with the rest of the Conservative party should they win the election in May.

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Posted: Apr 2nd, 2015
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Cameron promises not to serve a third term. Voters helpfully rule out a second

his goose is cookedIn an attempt to manage public expectation, the Prime Minister has said he will not be swayed into staying in office, regardless of any mass displays of affection.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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UKIP to throw out all Anglo-Saxon immigrants

After the publication of the most detailed genetic map of the UK, Nigel Farage has reiterated his aim to remove all immigrants from the UK, starting with those French and Germans who have been invading our sacred isles since, at least, before 1066.

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2015
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Millions watch idiot UKIP candidate totally ‘eclipse’ idiot UKIP leader

Vote UKIPSchool children, wearing protective goggles, were yesterday treated to the rare glimpse of Nigel Farage’s face been obscured in tabloid papers by reports of a fraudulent UKIP colleague, Janice Atkinson.

The expenses scandal of the MEP for England’s South East covered most of The Sun, which would normally be seen across the UK, shining out of Rupert Murdoch’s posterior.

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Posted: Mar 20th, 2015
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