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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

‘I was born in the wrong body,’ says Farage

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has revealed he is undertaking a course of political reassignment and is now living as ‘Nigel Chomsky’. ‘I was born in the body of a privileged right-winger but from as early as I can remember I wanted to be a socialist,’ Chomsky said.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
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UKIP defends MEP’s ‘speak like Blair’ advice

Labour has claimed that this shows Nigel Farage’s complete failure to clean up his party but Farage said: ‘Bill gave a seminar on public speaking and highlighted great speakers of the past, like Blair and Adolf Hitler as people whose style should be studied. We’re not condoning Blair’s actions, of course.’

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
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EU admits ‘90% of policies are solely to annoy Farage’

EU Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso has admitted to journalists that most of the decisions made by the EU are now designed with the sole purpose of winding up UKIP leader Nigel Farage.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2014
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Man who feels like a stranger in his own country just a friendless bastard

‘Oh, Percy Williams? Everyone hates him,’ said neighbour Heather Smith. ‘We cross the road to avoid the racist shitbag. I don’t know about being a stranger in his own country, the bigoted old git is a stranger in his own street.’

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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‘I hate all foreigners and will go for a pint with everyone’, shouts Clegg

In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint with everyone, ‘providing the ale is British’.

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Posted: May 27th, 2014
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