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Posts Tagged ‘UKIP’

Baboon resigns from UKIP

A baboon has resigned from UKIP following a fierce debate in the party over its future bananas policies.

Nigel – named after UKIP’s charismatic leader – indicated he was leaving the party which, he alleged, ‘has been taken over by a cartload of monkeys’.

The resignation follows revelations that two chimpanzees and an orang-utan had left the party amidst claims they had been fiddling their fyffes expenses and following remarks by a UKIP councillor that orang-utans ‘should go back to Pongo-Pongo land’.

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Posted: May 17th, 2014
More from Politics



Multiple small right-wing parties ‘could split fruitcake vote’

The UK Independence Party’s widely anticipated night of triumph at the European elections next week could yet be spoiled by a proliferation of virtually indistinguishable small parties taking a share of the UKIP vote, pollsters have warned.

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Posted: May 16th, 2014
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UKIP to outsource policy-making to China

it was always in the manifesto if you'd only bothered to read it‘Keeping policy making in the UK has been verging on impossible for some time now – we had become lazy and simply couldn’t come up with anything new’.

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Posted: May 11th, 2014
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Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from Politics



UKIP to build new Headquarters with bricks sent in post

UKIP today announced plans to leave their current headquarters in Devon and move to a new, purpose-built head office in London. This proposal, originally scheduled for 2020, has been moved forward thanks to the thousands of bricks sent to their Freepost address during the European Election Campaign.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2014
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