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Posts Tagged ‘Ukraine Crisis’

Russia to have Ukraine at bank holidays and weekends

The EU is to have custody over Ukraine, following a settlement at the Munich Security Conference. Russia will have her at bank holidays and weekends, and can pick her up after school if Europe is working late.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2015
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Russia annexes Belgium, claims Group H victory

Reuters has reported today that Belgium has voted in a snap referendum to leave the EU and join the Russian Federation. Amphibious vessels from two Mistral-class ships, similar to those built by France for the Russian navy, landed in Zeebrugge and Ostend just before the kick-off of Belgium’s second World Cup match.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014
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Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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Russian troops’ balaclavas ‘mostly just tea cosies’

Vladimir Putin is said to be ‘tight-lipped’ today after Western intelligence sources indicated that the Russian build-up of troops in the Crimea has been undermined by logistical difficulties in the ‘hat department’.

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Posted: May 7th, 2014
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Illuminati estate agents gloat as Crimea crisis deepens

safe havenskiAs the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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