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Posts Tagged ‘Ukraine’

Lifetime Presidency ‘too short’ claims Putin

After two stints as President, two as Prime Minister and now another as President, Vladimir Putin is still unable to justify stepping down in the foreseeable future when there’s ‘so much more to do’, according to reports from the Kremlin.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2014
More from News In Brief



The rest of the world needs to stop depressing us, complains UK‏

By steadfastly focusing on gloom in Ukraine, Iraq, Gaza and West Africa, the world’s general grumpiness has detracted from the UK’s enjoyment of a new Dr Who, Kate Bush in concert and the anticipation of Mario Balotelli going ‘bat shit crazy’ at Liverpool.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Television news switched off in favour of barbecue

Something simply had to be doneBritish television viewers have decided to abandon their TV sets this weekend, thereby missing the important new stories of plane crashes, Gaza and the imminent outbreak of World War Three. Instead they are going to concentrate on getting the barbecue working and drinking Pimms in the back garden.

‘It seems like the right thing to do’ said Lily from Clapham, south London. ‘There are lots of people worrying about the state of the world right now, and I think the best contribution we can make is to have too much to drink on the patio and eat a lot of barbecued chicken wings. If we can get a bit of a sun tan at the same time then so much the better.’

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2014
More from UK News



Hague admits quitting as Foreign Secretary ‘to avoid World War 3′

As passenger airlines are shot down, the Middle-East descends into even greater chaos and American Idol enters its 13th season – all the portents are shaping up nicely for a global Armageddon.

Against the backdrop of a geo-political tsunami, William Jefferson Hague has announced his decision to resign as the UK’s Foreign Secretary, retire as an MP next election and focus on building a ‘start-of-the-art Anderson shelter’ in his back garden.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2014
More from Politics



Pro-Russian Ukranians hold ‘unofficial’ Eurovision vote

the people have spokenRussian twins The Tolmachevy Sisters have won a landslide victory in the Eurovision Song Contest according to an unofficial poll which took place in areas held by Pro-Russian demonstrators in Eastern Ukraine.

Voting slips featured a photo of The Tolmachevy Sisters accompanied by the Russian flag, while ‘everyone else’ was represented by a photo of dead WW2 Russians accompanied by a Swastika. After votes were counted, the Russian singing duo were duly declared winners with an impressive 108% of the popular vote.

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Posted: May 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment, World News