A speaker for “Ulster Green Hand Commando” in North Belfast announced today an action plan to move towards burning only battery- and hybrid- electric vehicles in riots by 2025. “We’ve been looking at the successes of Extinction Rebellion and now have an action plan for our own riots to go zero-carbon within four years. [read...]
Other concessions yet to be confirmed involve the immediate dissolution of The Parades Commission and the reintroduction of widespread gerrymandering throughout the six counties. [read...]
The DUP’s Arlene Foster said she rejected bland wallpaper borders and stipulated that her home have bold William & Mary style architraves and Union Jack wallpaper. While others are concerned that this could herald a return to ‘The Troubles’; [read...]
In a surprise announcement, the pub-chain has committed to ensuring that anyone either called Mick, Coleen, or holding a red-haired child can pass into the UK through a special two for one meal deal in which citizens of Eire will be able to gain the citizenry rights of a normal UK citizen as well as a free portion of beer battered onion rings. [read...]
One of Ireland’s most feared paramilitaries was left stunned last night as a vomit incident from his two-year-old son left his DVD player ‘beyond use’. ‘I can say with no fear of contradiction that this piece of home entertainment equipment can no longer be used by my family for the purpose of watching ‘Finding Nemo’,’ [read...]
