In what appears to be the perfect deal for those either unable or reluctant to work, the government plans to push claimants off benefits and into jobs they will not have to do. The rationale being that if people only have to work zero hours, [read...]
Figures released today show that there has been a huge increase in unemployment amongst fairground goldfish since 1988.
Finnegan Scales, spokesperson for the Goldfish Workers Union, claims the government ‘isn’t doing enough’ to prevent the tide of inflatable plastic hammers and oversized cuddly toys coming in from abroad. [read...]
‘They’ll probably be concealing illegal migrants from somewhere or other in the solar system just here to scrounge or take our British jobs’ [read...]
‘There was a huge and sudden drop in the demand for skilled toy-makers just after Christmas in 2011, which nobody saw coming. This hit one minority group particularly hard, namely elves. Some re-trained as jockeys but for many it has been a difficult year,’ [read...]