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Posts Tagged ‘United Nations’

Real world to be rearranged in accordance with actors’ preferences

The real world today announced that it would rearrange itself in accordance with the beliefs and desires of the acting ‘profession’. ‘I finally realised that I’ve been mistaken,’ said Mr. World, aged 4.54 billion years.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2012
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Acclaimed equalities campaigner still can’t get her dad to not say ‘Paki shop’

Powerless to stop him doing that head-bobbling impression he picked up from ‘It Ain’t Half Hot Mum’.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2011
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UN to send up helicopter full of NIMBYs to enforce no-fly zone

The entire Neighbourhood Watch Committee of Stockley-under-field, which lies on an accident-prone section of the A5, will be armed with clipboards, pens and placards saying ‘GRRRRRRR!!’ to wave at offenders, whilst also subjecting them to Paddington-esque cold, hard stares out of the choppers’ windows.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2011
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Nick Clegg to be allowed to play with Luxembourg

With David Cameron’s call for the enforcement of a no-fly zone over Libya now a devastating reality, Nick Clegg has been given the go-ahead to press for action against Luxembourg, ‘in order to stop him sulking’.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2011
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Car parking issues at UN building cause of most international disputes

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has today announced radical plans to tackle global conflict by building a new improved car-park at the UN Headquarters in New York.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2011
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