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Posts Tagged ‘United States’

Chimp rejects US citizenship

The Nonhuman Rights Project is appealing for ‘Tommy’ the chimp to be granted the ‘fundamental right of bodily liberty’, but having ‘looked at Gitmo’ Tommy would prefer to take a ‘rain check’.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
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World peace a step closer as Obama, Rouhani trade knock-knock jokes

avoided any jokes about racial, political stereotypes in this crucial first meetingIn a momentous turn of events, tensions in the Middle East appear to have eased considerably after the presidents of Iran and the US swapped knock-knock jokes for the first time in 35 years.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2013
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US politicians to offer ‘effective corruption training’ to UK MPs

A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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Post Office Counters hit by DDoS attacks

Chief Supt. Bill Watson said police investigations were targeting a group of pensioners who join post office queues en masse putting unbearable strains on the service.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2011
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US Democrats admit Obama ‘unlikely to be next presidential nominee’, but not sure why

“‘He’s a pretty tall guy, but man have you seen the size of his feet, I mean, Jeez where’d he get ‘em from? I can’t think of any other reason why he shouldn’t be the candidate, but there’s no way I’m voting for someone with feet his size,’ said one Democrat activist from Cincinnati.”

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2007
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