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Posts Tagged ‘Universal credit’

Iain Duncan Smith to simplify all his cock-ups into one Universal Cock-Up

'unfit for purpose' now made more efficiently 'unfit for purpose'‘The current system of cock-ups is complicated and confusing,’ said the Work and Pensions Secretary. ‘Even I have trouble keeping track of them all.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2014
More from Politics



Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of Pluto‘They’ll probably be concealing illegal migrants from somewhere or other in the solar system just here to scrounge or take our British jobs’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Iain Duncan Smith to host primetime TV immigration quiz show

Fair, transparent and completely on scheduleIn an initiative to make its strict new rules for immigrants to the UK more palatable to the British public, the Department for Work and Pensions are to introduce a TV quiz show into the popular teatime slot.

‘Dole Or No Dole’ will be compered by DWP Secretary Iain Duncan Smith as inquisitor ‘The Quiet Man’, and features 100 immigrant applicants being whittled down to one successful candidate every episode.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment, UK News



Universal Credit to be exported to Mars

Ian Duncan Smith has unveiled plans to make the benefits system truly ‘universal’ by exporting it to Mars. The Department of Work and Pensions has been in secret talks with Imperial College London and NASA to launch a spacecraft, to be called the Debacle, next summer

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Posted: Dec 11th, 2013
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