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Posts Tagged ‘Vatican’

Pope groomed by online pontiff-phile who pretended to be God

Benedictum non sanctum‘Every day he would issue me with commandments – though most of them involved me sending him saucy photos – and at the time it all seemed very convincing.’

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2014
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Google and Vatican team up to create ‘SoulView’

‘Basically, most internet users are going to Hell,’ said Page. ‘Yes, you, Arthur Bennett of Halifax, searching repeatedly for “hot nurse bending over in short dress”. Or you, Patrick Jenn of Islington, searching for “schoolgirl with big jugs in PE kit”. You people make me sick.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
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Pope Francis asks Ex-Pope to stop ‘dropping by’ to hang out

‘It’s always lovely to see you, but, to be honest we’re all really busy here.’

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2013
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Bishop confuses ‘the crib’ for ‘da crib’

The Vatican have suspended Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst amid fears that he has gone ‘gangsta’ on them. Parishioners attest to hearing the Bishop of Limburg using the ‘n’ word when referring to the Pope, calling his choir boys ‘my bitches’ and ‘bustin out some phat beats’ on the church organ.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2013
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Pagans and Druids issue apology to Stonehenge labourers

Britain’s Pagan and Neo-Druidic communities have issued a joint statement finally apologising for the ‘unspeakable suffering and inconvenience’ caused by the building of Stonehenge in the second and third centuries BC.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2013
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