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Posts Tagged ‘Vatican’

Bishop confuses ‘the crib’ for ‘da crib’

The Vatican have suspended Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst amid fears that he has gone ‘gangsta’ on them. Parishioners attest to hearing the Bishop of Limburg using the ‘n’ word when referring to the Pope, calling his choir boys ‘my bitches’ and ‘bustin out some phat beats’ on the church organ.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2013
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Pagans and Druids issue apology to Stonehenge labourers

Britain’s Pagan and Neo-Druidic communities have issued a joint statement finally apologising for the ‘unspeakable suffering and inconvenience’ caused by the building of Stonehenge in the second and third centuries BC.

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2013
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Pope gets bigger oar to stick into Middle East conflict

'Who said the Catholic church was up shit creek without a paddle, eh?'Levels of papal interference in international affairs is set to rise this week, with the unveiling in the Vatican of a bigger, more-eye catching papal oar, shortly to be stuck into the global argument about the Middle East.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2013
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Pope invites Gok Wan to Vatican to ‘camp-up’ the clergy

Pope building up to appearing naked in front of pilgrims by All Saints DayAfter surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of style guru Gok Wan in a bid to ‘makeover’ the Church’s hierarchy.

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2013
More from Faith



Pope fails to give birth

Tens of thousands of Brazilian pilgrims were left disappointed today, by the pontiff’s inability to produce a Royal Baby. Although Pope Francis promised to bring people to the ‘open arms of Christ the Redeemer’, there is a sense that the Duchess of Cambridge has ‘raised the bar’ for global figures.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2013
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