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Posts Tagged ‘vegans’

Queen to allow swans to eat vegans

Palace officials and conservationists are poring over radical proposals to allow swans to eat the Queens subjects for the first time since the Act of Swans in 1482.

The swans of the river Itchen recently brought a class action against a prominent sandal-wearing vegan known only as ‘Dick’ who had referred to the birds as ‘nature’s river-mincing fancy pants’. Kevin, a spokesbird for Waterfowl by Royal Appointment, offered to re-educate Dick by snorting his balls and wearing the shrivelled gentleman’s bag as a party hat.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2013
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Vegetarians finally call an end to protest

finally dawned that cucumbers suffer too...After more than 50 years since the first dinner party was ruined by someone saying ‘I can’t eat this, I’m vegetarian’, a protest which was then taken up by millions of people worldwide finally came to an end this morning as vegetarians everywhere returned to eating any and all types of meat.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2012
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Vegetarians rejoice as veal reclassified as a shrub

Mmmm, leafy veal‘We think veal is actually some kind of bush, possibly a hydrangea,’ said a spokesman from Kew Gardens. ‘I can’t think how the confusion came about.’

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2009
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Ordnance Survey produces first map of “Moral High Ground”

Ordnance Survey have today announced that they have managed to produce the first detailed map of the Moral High Ground.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2007
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