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Posts Tagged ‘Viktor Yanukovych’

Yanukovich emerges from hiding as branch manager of Carphone Warehouse

every sale endorsed by president Putin himselfThe fugitive Ukranian premier Viktor Yanukovych has emerged as the manager of a branch of Carphone Warehouse at the Arndale Centre, Accrington.

Branch salesperson Greg Mottram said ‘I turned up this morning and there was no sign of Debbie, the regular manager, just this Yanukovich bloke. when I asked where Debbie was, I was told she’d been sent into ‘internal exile’. When I asked where to, I was told Rochdale which, you know, is a bit harsh.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
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Ukraine power vacuum to be replaced by Dyson

Opposition MPs were celebrating this week as they voted overwhelming to replace President Viktor Yanukovych with an upright model; which offers ‘transparency’, ‘cleanness’ and ‘something less fiddly’. Also, unlike Ukrainian democracy, the Dyson comes with a ‘five year guarantee’.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2014
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