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Posts Tagged ‘Vince Cable’

Cable only got into politics because of mid-life crisis

‘There I was, chief economist at Shell, good salary,’ said Cable, ‘but the second I hit the big 4-0 I knew it wasn’t enough. I needed some excitement in my life. Only becoming a Liberal Democrat MP could slake that thirst.’

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
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Nick Clegg to play with tiny steering wheel during Prime Minister’s Questions

he can make all the noises, tooCan use the toy steering wheel to turn left and turn right in accordance with prevailing government policy.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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Last known Lib Dem dies in captivity

Zoo keepers, veterinarians and ‘sandal-wearing libertarians’ were left mourning the loss of the world’s last remaining ‘Greater-spectacled Oakeshott’. The ‘Oakeshott’ had been cared for in the House of Lords’ wildlife refuge since May 2000, but had failed to find a left-wing breeding partner among the elderly peers.

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Posted: May 29th, 2014
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Royal Mail to immortalise Vince Cable in special issue ‘hate stamps’

‘In a conciliatory move designed to delight shareholders and taxpayers alike, the Royal Mail is set to issue a limited edition set of stamps depicting a severed Cable.

The set will be sensitively priced, with the first-issue premium stamps being signed by random members of the sorting office staff, who were all allowed the full share allocation of £10,000.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Lib-Dems to re-launch as Boy Band

Simon Hughes not included - couldn't find his voiceThe Lib-Dems will sensationally reposition its self today in Glasgow by re-launching itself as a Boy Band.

The Band will be known as ‘All Directions’ in line with current party thinking.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2013
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