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Posts Tagged ‘Vince Cable’

David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

first job is a Strategy for Europe‘My first task is help sex up Mr Cameron’s image,’ explained the septuagenarian pop sensation. ‘To appeal to that all-important female demographic, David is growing a nice pair of mutton chop side burns.’

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2012
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Cameron vetoes changes to Eurovision Song Contest

‘The proposals were not in the interests of the UK,’ explained the Prime Minister. ‘In my opinion they were not conducive to ensuring that the best song wins. I’m just as fed up with those Balkan states voting for each other as anybody. Why on earth Blue didn’t do better last time beggers belief.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
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Vince Cable apologises for leaving Liberal Democrat principles ‘in the bin’

Business Secretary Vince Cable has apologised after leaving bags full of shredded Liberal Democrat principles in the bin, where any passing Tory would have been able to completely ignore them.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2011
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Clegg speech to take pride of place on Cameron’s fridge

David Cameron has revealed that a copy of Nick Clegg’s conference speech has been attached to his Downing Street fridge.

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2011
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Man killed by Taser offered ‘too much resistance’, claim police

‘The coppers at first remained static while attempting to charge the man who they suspected of battery, and did not see the situation’s potential to spark such a shocking result.’

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2011
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