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Posts Tagged ‘Vince Cable’

Nick Clegg to address imaginary delegates at this year’s Lib Dem conference

There must be somebody out there. Anyone?‘Clint Eastwood had an argument with an empty chair regarding its political standpoint. Nick will go one further and address an imaginary political party at an imaginary political conference.’

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2012
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Lego launches new Coalition Cabinet minifigures range

The new Lego characters include ‘Culture Secretary Dude’, sporting a large Sky satellite dish on his head feeding directly into an earpiece.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2012
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Clegg ‘heard May tell Clarke that PM emailed Ed Davey to say no to snooping’

‘I’m completely opposed to snooping in any form,’ said Clegg, ‘and I know my Cabinet colleagues are too because I read it in a classified policy paper that Vince Cable accidentally left on his desk yesterday.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

first job is a Strategy for Europe‘My first task is help sex up Mr Cameron’s image,’ explained the septuagenarian pop sensation. ‘To appeal to that all-important female demographic, David is growing a nice pair of mutton chop side burns.’

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2012
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Cameron vetoes changes to Eurovision Song Contest

‘The proposals were not in the interests of the UK,’ explained the Prime Minister. ‘In my opinion they were not conducive to ensuring that the best song wins. I’m just as fed up with those Balkan states voting for each other as anybody. Why on earth Blue didn’t do better last time beggers belief.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
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