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Worker fears over returning to work reduced if office has Air Con
Sweaty Brits who have been reluctant to return to the office due to Coronavirus concerns are now having a rethink. [read...]
Tagged virus
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Covid-19 will blink first, Johnson promises
Boris Johnson has claimed that the Covid-19 will agree a last minute ‘cessation of infection’ because it needs Britain more than Britain needs it. ‘The German car industry don’t want people stuck at home, so they will ensure that the virus comes to a sensible arrangement,’ [read...]
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Police confirm free-roaming pensioners ‘ongoing menace to society’
Police warn that octogenarians are still ‘running wobbly but wild’ on Britain’s streets. They have been deluged by complaint calls since Boris Johnson’s latest diversionary ‘shiny, shiny’ tactic resulted in the compulsory ejection of everyone previously corralled behind their weird stained-glass front doors. [read...]
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Ministers pleased as Boris Johnson’s encryption implant continues to function
Tory government ministers are said to be delighted with the ongoing success of the Prime Minister’s encryption implant as his statements continue to baffle the public and the Opposition alike. Fitted in late 2015 the device has, [read...]
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Bus companies warn of timetable chaos if passengers return
UK bus service operators have slammed the government’s decision to allow wider use of public transport from Monday, saying it will cause timetable chaos if their vehicles have to stop to pick up more than two passengers again. [read...]