‘We pride ourselves on being as authentic as possible, but some of our members probably took things a bit too far by shipping over some intercontinental ballistic missiles from Russia.’ [read...]
Multi-billionaire sex criminal Brian Epstein might have been forced into suicide by being murdered, according to secret documents uncovered by yet-to-be assassinated journalists. Meanwhile, though, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, the Duke of Edinburgh, and a hundred other ultra-famous men have signed a letter in the New York Times today in which they deny the not-murdering… [read...]
In a rare demonstration of international cooperation, leaders around the world have joined together to prevent the planet falling off a precipice. ‘No matter what happens, we have your back,’ said the three leaders, who normally engage in a little ribald teasing of each other. [read...]
A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’ [read...]
Fans of Tottenham Hotspur have expressed mixed feelings about the end of the football season, despite being only four points behind the leaders Chelsea and better placed for a title win at this point than at any time since 1961. [read...]
