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Posts Tagged ‘Vladimir Putin’

Russia annexes Belgium, claims Group H victory

Reuters has reported today that Belgium has voted in a snap referendum to leave the EU and join the Russian Federation. Amphibious vessels from two Mistral-class ships, similar to those built by France for the Russian navy, landed in Zeebrugge and Ostend just before the kick-off of Belgium’s second World Cup match.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014
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Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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Russian troops’ balaclavas ‘mostly just tea cosies’

Vladimir Putin is said to be ‘tight-lipped’ today after Western intelligence sources indicated that the Russian build-up of troops in the Crimea has been undermined by logistical difficulties in the ‘hat department’.

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Posted: May 7th, 2014
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US threatens Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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Illuminati estate agents gloat as Crimea crisis deepens

safe havenskiAs the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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