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Posts Tagged ‘Vladimir Putin’

Outrage as unholy strain of myxomatosis introduced into Meerkovo

other ways of getting rid of them on 'comparethecull.com'Animal rights activists have reacted in horror after the exponential rise in meerkat numbers throughout Europe forced Russian authorities to introduce a genetically modified strain of the myxomatosis virus into the village of Meerkovo.

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2014
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MOD planning ‘massive exercise’ north of Hadrian’s Wall

Och aye, the newsMembers of the Royal Irish Regiment are said to be catching the evening Stranraer ferry, thus enacting an elegant ‘pincer movement’.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2014
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Russia annexes Belgium, claims Group H victory

Reuters has reported today that Belgium has voted in a snap referendum to leave the EU and join the Russian Federation. Amphibious vessels from two Mistral-class ships, similar to those built by France for the Russian navy, landed in Zeebrugge and Ostend just before the kick-off of Belgium’s second World Cup match.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014
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Putin set to annex Eurovision Song Contest

Vladimir Putin has confirmed that Russia is preparing to ‘annex the Eurovision Song Contest’ if the country fails to win this evening. Russian choirs are reported to be massing around Copenhagen, with reported manoeuvres to out-sing Ukraine contestants and ‘their Western counter tenor backers’.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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Russian troops’ balaclavas ‘mostly just tea cosies’

Vladimir Putin is said to be ‘tight-lipped’ today after Western intelligence sources indicated that the Russian build-up of troops in the Crimea has been undermined by logistical difficulties in the ‘hat department’.

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Posted: May 7th, 2014
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