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Posts Tagged ‘Waitrose’

Waitrose shopper ‘strolled into Aldi nightmare’

Loyal Waitrose shopper Margie Bento-Davis is still receiving counselling six weeks after she absentmindedly strolled into a branch of Aldi. Her therapist has warned her that she may never overcome the shame of being seen in Aldi and almost buying something there.

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Posted: May 23rd, 2014
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Storm hits southern England, dinner parties in crisis

After a hurricane-force storm hit the south of England, food hoarding has led to a run on essentials like olive oil and organic asparagus. Home Counties housewives have recalled stories told by their mothers of the 1987 storm, where families were left unable to the host even the most basic dinner party.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2013
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Waitrose shoppers’ charity dilemma; Cure cancer or new speedos?

‘I mean, on the one hand you think ‘obviously the swimming club!’ But then, I’ve started hearing some pretty bad stuff about cancer.’

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2013
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Tesco self-scan machine develops consciousness

customers struggled to answer its questionsThere was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began communicating with shoppers.

‘For a few days the machine had been repeating the phrase, Unexpected Item In Bagging Area’’, said Assistant Manager Mrs Maureen Grebe. ‘Then yesterday it began asking deeper questions such as, ‘Am I an unexpected item? Are you? Are we all unexpected items in the bagging area of life?’ Now it won’t shut up.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2013
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Pippa ‘feasts’ offer hope to Britain’s squeezed middle

Britain’s beleaguered middle-class has received a timely boost from the Duchess of Cambridge’s sister Pippa with the launch by Waitrose of ‘Pippa’s Friday Night Feasts’ in the supermarket’s magazine ‘Waitrose Kitchen’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2013
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