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Posts Tagged ‘Waitrose’

Record winning bid on tomato at Waitrose

‘We are seeing considerable growth in the market at the moment’ said auctioneer Brendan Southgate, ‘This particular tomato has some bruising damage from the vine twig, but as many owners are ‘distressing’ their soft fruit for a vintage look, it only added to the saleabiltiy.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2012
More from News In Brief



Queen requests state burial in Waitrose car park

will consider offers from Lidl‘Moved by the news that Richard III was buried by Leicester City Council in 1485, Her Majesty is keen to reintroduce the medieval tradition of laying monarchs to rest beneath the car parks of municipal and commercial town centre landmarks.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2012
More from UK News



Royal Jubilee engagements causing backlog of unopened supermarkets

Supermarket giants including Tesco and Sainsbury’s have led angry calls for the Royal Family to ‘stop fannying about for the Jubilee’ after news emerged that forty fully-stocked supermarkets have been left unopened for months.

‘We’ve been continuing to expand our operations across the United Kingdom,’ said Tesco chief executive Philip Clarke. ‘But since this Diamond Jubilee nonsense started, we’ve been left with 17 stores ready to go but unopened because the Royals are all booked up reading the weather or dancing with Usain Bolt in Jamaica or sailing down the bloody Thames.’

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
More from UK News



Islington man discovers wine that ‘tastes like wine’

When Islington man Ferdinand Baxter visited his local Waitrose he didn’t expect to find the wine he’d been searching for for years.

‘I casually picked up this bottle of red and started to read the label expecting to find stuff about jammy flavours with a suggestion of apricot, bluebells, and a subtle hint of dandelion coffee. Instead it just read, ‘This wine tastes like wine’. I was flabbergasted and bought a case straightaway,’ he said.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2012
More from News In Brief



US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on LidlUS President Barack Obama has promised that all US troops will exit from Tesco Extra, Chingford by 2019 ‘at the very latest’. The staged withdrawal, is set to begin in earnest September 2013 – before the start of the unforgiving ‘English winter’ – with the removal of 12,000 troops from the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2011
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