The rising price of muesli across the globe is proof that the international trade in this illicit breakfast cereal is finally ‘in retreat’ according to the UK’s Serious Organised Crime Agency.
Posted: May 15th, 2012
More from Lifestyle
Mr Branson called for a rethink of current drugs policies and asked if someone wouldn’t mind popping down to the garage to get ‘some of those crisps in the big green packet’.
Posted: Jun 3rd, 2011
More from World News
The Home Secretary has heralded the return to traditional 1950s-style policing methods as ‘a major success’ after a local bobby smashed an international drug ring and gave their leader a ‘jolly good talking to’ and a ‘clip round the ear’.
‘I know how to deal with these young scallywags,’ said PC George Dixon, who single-handedly disarmed a gun-toting militia of South American drug dealers using only his warm, avuncular, moralising presence.
‘When I entered the drugs factory I immediately knew that these little rascals were up to no good,’ said PC Dixon, ‘I had strong words with all of them. And let me tell you, they won’t be doing that sort of thing again in a hurry.’
Posted: Aug 15th, 2010
More from UK News
‘I must say, I can’t see what all the fuss was ever about,’ gushed a stupidly grinning Jack Straw at a press conference in the gents’ toilets of Soho’s Groucho Club.
Posted: Oct 14th, 2009
More from News In Brief
‘This is a major victory in our War on Prophylactics.’
Posted: May 22nd, 2009
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