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Posts Tagged ‘War’

Sony to fire film reels into North Korea in retaliation

Sony has vowed to retaliate against the ‘unwarranted hacking’ of its computer system by North Korea by moving a battery of film reel launchers up to the 38th parallel. ‘If they think The Candidate was disrespectful, wait until we lob copies of Bad Haircut, one of Ryan Sommers Baum’s best roles,’ a spokesman said.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Torturers and torture victims to be tortured until they tell truth about torture

truth will out, with a bit of help...After revelations that the CIA used ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’ to torture prisoners, it has emerged that British forces may have to be tortured to see if they admit to having taken part in similar practices after 9/11 and during recent Middle East wars. The army believes that, unpalatable though it is, this may be the only way to the truth.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2014
More from World News



DEFRA fancies ‘one last fling’ at culling badgers

Disturbing reports are emerging that some staff within the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs have a growing desire to go out and kill more badgers. ‘To be honest, we’re not all that bothered about the TB. It’s just embarrassing, feeling that they defeated us,’ said a masked DEFRA spokesman.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Cuts causing soldiers to die without haunting soundtrack

where's the pathos?Military chiefs are warning that a reduction in the army’s budget means that more British soldiers are now dying in foreign conflicts without the benefit of slow motion and haunting ethnic music playing over the scene.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2014
More from UK News



Ill-informed Cumbrians readying for Scottish invasion

fears that reserves of Kendal Mint cake could fall into enemy handsAn eery silence has descended on Cumbria. The people are edgy, suspicious. Violence erupts in odd little bursts – a chip-shop owner advertising ‘deep fried anything’ is publicly flogged as a sympathiser; a man is stoned for telling a Billy Connolly joke.

Thousands are fleeing to the safety of Carlisle’s walls. Others are on the hilltops, eyes scouring the horizon, preparing to light the beacons at the first sign of ‘Men in Skirts’.

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Posted: Sep 15th, 2014
More from UK News