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Posts Tagged ‘War’

US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on Lidl Starting with 12,000 troops leaving the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2015
More from From The Archives

France ends refugee crisis by bombing Syria

With barely 10,000 refugees arriving at the Hungarian border in the last few days, many in the EU were starting to panic that we might run out of dispossessed masses, reasons to vote UKIP or emotive photographs of a child’s abandoned shoe. Fortunately the French government has sprung into action with air strikes in Syria, so as to force the remaining cowering citizens to emigrate using the nearest raft.

NATO members offered their support for the French bombing policy, which had already done such a remarkable job of bringing peace and stability to Iraq before it. In turn the British Prime Minister, David Cameron – who spent much of last year railing against Bashar al-Assad – has now endorsed him as a perfect ‘transitional President’ as Syria transitions from 2016 AD to 2016 BC.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2015
More from World News

Geordies vow revenge after Angel of the North is ‘defiled’ by coat

a blatant attack on heroic Newcastle nights out In an act of vandalism that has been described as being ‘as insulting to Geordies as depicting the prophet Mohammed is to Muslims’, Newcastle’s famous Angel of the North has been given a coat.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2015
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Chilcot appearance on Just A Minute “longer than 45 minutes”

Sir John Chilcot’s debut appearance on Radio 4 panel show Just a Minute has received a critical mauling, after he hesitated more than any other player in the programme’s history and caused Monday evening’s edition to last fourteen hours instead of the usual thirty minutes.

The former civil servant and independent inquiry chair appeared on the panel alongside series regulars Paul Merton, Sue Perkins and former foreign secretary Jack Straw. As usual, Chilcot was asked to speak for sixty seconds without repetition, deviation or hesitation, but after an initial burst of energy (on the topic ‘the terms of this inquiry’) he rapidly dried up and dragged the proceedings out far longer than anybody else could ever have anticipated.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Boots on the ground in Syria ‘could be problematic’, say pharmacists

IS there a placebo?The prospect of the UK putting ‘Boots on the ground’ in the Syria has once again been on the agenda this week after our recent participation in US air strikes.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2015
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