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Posts Tagged ‘War’

Don King announces Falklands War rematch in 2015

already being called the 'Frantic in the Atlantic'After months of shadow boxing, the long awaited Falklands War rematch has been confirmed for 2015 to coincide with general elections in Britain and Argentina.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2012
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UN rules should make wars ‘a little less rapey and killy’

‘The introduction of clear rules in boxing allowed men to punch seven shades of shit out of each other in the controlled environment of a boxing ring. We see no reason why this wouldn’t also work with war.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2012
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US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on LidlUS President Barack Obama has promised that all US troops will exit from Tesco Extra, Chingford by 2019 ‘at the very latest’. The staged withdrawal, is set to begin in earnest September 2013 – before the start of the unforgiving ‘English winter’ – with the removal of 12,000 troops from the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2011
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Ministry of Defence ‘mislays’ small war

Following an auditor’s report that the Ministry of Defence lost track of assets worth £6.3bn, embarrassed officials confirmed last night that the department had also managed to mislay a small war it was conducting.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2011
More from News In Brief



MoD to issue combat soldiers with armour made from grandfather’s pocket watches

The Ministry of Defence has swooped on antique shops across Britain after discovering that most Great War survivors had been saved by a future heirloom in their pocket, usually a fob watch or cigarette case, deflecting a Jerry bullet.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2011
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