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Posts Tagged ‘Water’

Hipster ‘was drinking Mars water last year’

Marvin de Marvine, 23, was louchely disinterested yesterday when confronted by the news of the discovery of water on Mars. ‘I was drinking Mars water last year, it was nice but it’s pretty mainstream now. I’m drinking Saturn’s ring water now but you probably wouldn’t have heard of it,’ he told reporters.

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Posted: Oct 1st, 2015
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Ice cube tray manufacturer wins award for irretrievable ice cubes

ice buggery bastards, more likeFor over 30 years, ice cube tray manufacturers have been engaged in a race to develop a container from which frozen water can never be extracted. Today UK company Pro-Plastic has been recognised for making the first container from which ice cubes cannot be retrieved, irrespective of the cunning and skill of the users.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2014
More from Science/Technology

Utility boss threatens ‘eternal darkness’ if energy prices frozen

historical data shows hell still warming nicely‘People who have stockpiled air in li-los, bicycle tyres, party balloons and inflatable women are acting irresponsibly.’

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Water bosses praised for ‘far-sighted’ summer hosepipe ban

Thank goodness we didn't overwater the lawn this year‘It would have been like the bloody Sahara round here, if it weren’t for them geniuses. Well done them.’

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
More from Business, Environment

Homeopathy in crisis as water loses its memory

‘A watery version of Alzheimer’s seems to have occurred,’ said one homeopathy practitioner. ‘And it’s a bit of a vicious circle trying to find a cure.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2012
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