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Posts Tagged ‘Water’

Utility boss threatens ‘eternal darkness’ if energy prices frozen

historical data shows hell still warming nicely‘People who have stockpiled air in li-los, bicycle tyres, party balloons and inflatable women are acting irresponsibly.’

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Water bosses praised for ‘far-sighted’ summer hosepipe ban

Thank goodness we didn't overwater the lawn this year‘It would have been like the bloody Sahara round here, if it weren’t for them geniuses. Well done them.’

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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Homeopathy in crisis as water loses its memory

‘A watery version of Alzheimer’s seems to have occurred,’ said one homeopathy practitioner. ‘And it’s a bit of a vicious circle trying to find a cure.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2012
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Wasps no longer fooled by water in a jam jar

Wasps have announced that, acting on some market research they commissioned, they have changed their outlook and will no longer placidly fall into a jam jar containing water and drown.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2010
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Water companies apologise for not announcing water shortages during recent fine weather

National water suppliers have apologised for not automatically announcing a water shortage this year. Companies have cited a software glitch as the cause for the delay in the usual round of water shortage scaremongering.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2009
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