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Posts Tagged ‘Wayne Rooney’

Wayne Rooney trapped in home for two days by baby stair gate

After the star failed to report for training it emerged that he had been trapped upstairs in his Cheshire home trying to work out how to open a baby stair gate.

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Posted: May 24th, 2013
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Premier league footballers corner market in Unicorn Sperm

The craze among top sportsmen for investing in equine-emission-based investment vehicles continued this week, as a consortium of Premier League footballers confirmed they have backed the building of the world’s first Unicorn Sperm Bank.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2012
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Lampard becomes latest player ‘too embarrassed to play for England’

The Chelsea midfielder joins a growing list of players who have developed mystery ailments in a bid to retain what little dignity they have.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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FA Cup semi-final to be replayed until Manchester United win

Under the new rules introduced by the Football Association, the Manchester United versus Manchester City semi-final is to be replayed until Manchester United win.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
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Out-of-touch Rooney spotted buying a Twix

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney has been spotted living up to his lavish lifestyle in Cheshire today as he bought a Twix. And rumors suggest that it may have been a King Size bar.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2010
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