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Posts Tagged ‘Wayne Rooney’

Scientists reveal world’s first lab-grown footballer

be sure to check the 'transfer by' dateIn a breakthrough that could end the shortage of quality players in the English Premier League, scientists at Maastricht University revealed the world’s first synthetic footballer yesterday. Taking stem cells from two short planks they have turned them into strips of dense muscle, which when inflated with vanity becomes a fully formed midfielder.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2013
More from Science/Technology

Struggling young actors turning to football for route to Hollywood

hopefuls will later be looking for West End work on a BosmanFollowing the silver screen success of former footballers Vinnie Jones, Eric Cantona and David Ginola, young actors are now choosing Football Association approved academies attached to English professional football clubs as a novel new route to television and movie stardom.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment, Sport

Chelsea up offer for Wayne Rooney by a sack of spuds and a granny

Chelsea football club today dramatically increased the pressure on Manchester United to sell Wayne Rooney, by offering him a sack of potatoes and the unlimited use of a granny.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Wayne Rooney trapped in home for two days by baby stair gate

After the star failed to report for training it emerged that he had been trapped upstairs in his Cheshire home trying to work out how to open a baby stair gate.

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Posted: May 24th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Premier league footballers corner market in Unicorn Sperm

The craze among top sportsmen for investing in equine-emission-based investment vehicles continued this week, as a consortium of Premier League footballers confirmed they have backed the building of the world’s first Unicorn Sperm Bank.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2012
More from News In Brief