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Posts Tagged ‘Wayne Rooney’

Some dying octopus gets covered on TV, for Christ’s sake

Confirmation that you are not mad, it’s the world around you, emerged this week, when every British television channel carried a story about some bloody animal with tentacles dying in its tank in Germany.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2010
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Toilet attendant steps back from brink of quitting over employer’s lack of ambition

concerned about lack of support up front and woeful cleaning up at the backDwayne Cooney, a toilet attendant at the Blue Planet Aquarium, unexpectedly announced he is to remain with the organisation for another five years just days after slamming the facilities’ ownership for a lack of ambition.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2010
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Speculation mounts that Rooney may find new brothel

Rumours abound today following the news that Wayne Rooney has refused to commit his future to the Old Trafford brothel he has been frequenting for the past three years.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2010
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Total, fcuk and UPS in joint sponsorship deal with England football team

Opposition strangely reluctant to swap shirts after the game‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side.’

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2010
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Injury may put English football stars out of Sunday’s barbecue

English football fans were anxiously waiting for further team news today, after injuries to several key players left a question mark over their participation in various leisure and social activities this weekend.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2008
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