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Posts Tagged ‘Wayne Rooney’

Lampard becomes latest player ‘too embarrassed to play for England’

The Chelsea midfielder joins a growing list of players who have developed mystery ailments in a bid to retain what little dignity they have.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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FA Cup semi-final to be replayed until Manchester United win

Under the new rules introduced by the Football Association, the Manchester United versus Manchester City semi-final is to be replayed until Manchester United win.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
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Out-of-touch Rooney spotted buying a Twix

Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney has been spotted living up to his lavish lifestyle in Cheshire today as he bought a Twix. And rumors suggest that it may have been a King Size bar.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2010
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Some dying octopus gets covered on TV, for Christ’s sake

Confirmation that you are not mad, it’s the world around you, emerged this week, when every British television channel carried a story about some bloody animal with tentacles dying in its tank in Germany.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2010
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Toilet attendant steps back from brink of quitting over employer’s lack of ambition

concerned about lack of support up front and woeful cleaning up at the backDwayne Cooney, a toilet attendant at the Blue Planet Aquarium, unexpectedly announced he is to remain with the organisation for another five years just days after slamming the facilities’ ownership for a lack of ambition.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2010
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