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Posts Tagged ‘welfare’

Homeless hit by ‘spare cardboard box tax’

Single homeless people sleeping in cardboard boxes will be penalised for each container over-and-above their ‘main bedroom box’, the government has confirmed. The levy on income will be deducted at source, from the paper cups in front of them, by specially-trained ‘proceeds of begging recovery experts’.

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Posted: May 14th, 2013
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Conservatives call for more ‘welfare murders’

Delighted with the popularity of the links he made between ‘welfare lifestyle’ and multiple murders, George Osborne has called for more people on benefits to kill each other.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2013
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Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of PlutoThe prospect of thousands of little green men signing on for JobSeeker’s Allowance at Jobcentres across the UK is forcing government ministers to tighten the rules for accessing welfare benefits.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2013
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UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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Government raises maximum welfare benefit cap to £33,000,000

The maximum amount a family can receive in welfare benefits a year has been raised to £33 million, Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has announced.

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2012
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