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Posts Tagged ‘Welsh’

Foreign languages ‘just an elaborate hoax’

'déjà vu' replaced with 'lassez-faire'So-called ‘languages’ are an ancient practical joke, it has been revealed.

‘It all started with the Romans’, said Professor Tim Williams of the University of Central England, itself also an elaborate hoax. ‘They thought it would be funny to speak gibberish to the locals when they first came here. Being an isolated population, the myth took hold better than expected and it’s been maintained ever since.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2015
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Welsh to be banned from public places

People from Wales will be banned from using public places say NHS Wales. The new ruling comes into force in 2017 and will extend to Welsh people living in the rest of the UK and all crown properties beyond.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2015
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GCHQ to encode all secret messages in Welsh

Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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Welsh Language to be given future tense

We’ve thought about it for a long time. It’s pretty obvious that a future tense comes in handy when you want to, you know, plan stuff as opposed to just remembering what Wales used to be like.’

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2013
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Campaign to make Gangsta an official language

Following Dr David Starkey’s declaration on Newsnight that the white population from Tottenham to Clapham has now ‘integrated into the pervasive black Gangsta culture’, the Welsh Language Society – with its long experience of protest campaigns – has been advising this community on how to have Gangsta recognised as an official language by the UK and EU authorities.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2011
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