President Trump’s personal towel says it is being blamed for his refusal to accept defeat in the US election: ‘With Trump playing more golf than usual, I am in constant demand. It’s never been fun being the Donald-wiper, [read...]
In a full-on radioactive meltdown, President Trump has been running around the White House in his Mickey Mouse underwear shouting ‘STOP THE PRAYERS,’ and fired his spiritual advisor, God. He’s ordered anyone found covertly praying under face masks to be shot on sight and the remains fed to grizzly bears. [read...]
The original franchise featured Macauley Culkin as a spoiled child who foils the efforts of burglars to break into his house by putting down ball bearings and similar childish traps. Culkin is now too mature for the role, [read...]
“It turns out that the insurance for Mr Trump’s body can’t cover his hair. Just as his hair can’t quite cover his head, so his hair has to be treated separately.” [read...]
The White House has confirmed that a TV studio debate hosted by a professional presenter isn’t conducive to adult exchanges of opinion. ‘He had chewing gum and didn’t share it,’ said Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden about his sparring partner Donald Trump. [read...]
