“The President has adapted brilliantly to using his primitive forehands to grasp burgers just long enough to toss them into his open mouthparts,” explained Sarah Sanders, the White House’s animal behaviourist and ex circus bear wrestler. [read...]
Journalists who were present when a White House aide tried to take the microphone from reporter Jim Acosta have confirmed that the film released by the White House is not an accurate portrayal of what happened that day. [read...]
Referring to the Second Amendment, a White House aide speaking to the BBC today revealed that mass shooting is a right bestowed upon every US citizen. ‘With the Second Amendment, the Founding Fathers clearly affirmed their intention that all US citizens have the right to shoot any people they choose,’ [read...]
Barron Trump has resigned from his White House role with immediate effect, citing ‘differences of opinion on policy’ between himself and his father. This follows the President reneging on a firm commitment made after intense negotiation to acquire a puppy on arrival in Washington. [read...]
As the US scholastic arms race continues to escalate, President Trump has authorised High School Principals to begin deploying thermo nuclear weapons in a last-ditch effort to deter rogue school shooters. The move comes after the failing bid to thwart the attacks by arming teachers has lead to a massive increase in the number of… [read...]
