Council administrator Rhona White has put her marriage out to tender, expressing dissatisfaction with her current service provider, and inviting bids from carefully selected parties.
Posted: Mar 25th, 2013
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‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (Nice try though, Cathy, if you’re reading this.) The important thing is always to learn from what life throws at you, and you don’t get hitched a third of a dozen times without picking up a few pointers along the way.’
Posted: Sep 12th, 2011
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‘The lounge where he watched the television was a complete disgrace,’ said editor Jeramia Jones. ‘With three wives, you’d think one of them would have got a duster out.’
Posted: May 10th, 2011
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Fighting back tears of joy, Mildred Openshaw, 52, yesterday pleaded for the public to conceal any information that might lead to the safe return of her husband Clive, 52.
Posted: May 13th, 2010
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The 22-year union between Lionel and Marjorie Alwyn was reportedly under threat last night, as it emerged that Mr Alwyn had declined their traditional festive sexual congress and asked ‘for the money instead’.
‘Well what was I supposed to say?’ said an outraged Mrs Alwyn, who had been led to believe that her festive fur-trimmed stockings and saucy Santa hat had been hitting the spot since the Berlin Wall came down. ‘And it wasn’t just that he was turning down a few hours of nookie with me in favour of some money in an envelope. It was that he only gave it a transferable value of twenty-five quid.’
Posted: Dec 15th, 2009
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