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Posts Tagged ‘William Hague’

Decisive EU warning on Crimea: ‘Eurovision will be really awkward this year’

Anything but Boom Bang-a-Bang, pleaseEuropean Union leaders have made their first common statement on the Ukraine crisis, warning Russia that its actions leave them no choice but to be ‘really, really frosty’ at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2015
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Julian Assange granted political asylum in Celebrity Big Brother house

The founder of Wikileaks is already fitting in well, carefully listening in to the conversations of fellow housemates before immediately running off to The Diary Room to reveal all of their most intimate secrets.

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2014
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Cameron and Hague relearning foreign policy by playing Risk

The Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, having been caught flat-footed by recent geopolitical changes almost everywhere, have embarked on a marathon game of Risk to try and understand it all.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2014
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Captors release Libyan PM after William Hague tells them to

‘Terrorists all over the world are deeply afraid of William Hague; one stern retribution and the game is up.

‘We heard his voice on the radio,’ admitted Mr ben-Scari, ‘demanding the release of Ziedan, and we couldn’t chuck his excellency out of the front door fast enough.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2013
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British Intelligence launch subscription surveillance service, GCHQ+

can access your bank account and transfer subscription to save you the bother, if you likeBritain’s biggest spy agency, GCHQ, said it was addressing the commercial concerns of 21st Century espionage with the introduction of a new paywall. ‘The move heralds a brave new world of electronic surveillance,’ claimed Foreign Secretary William Hague. ‘Now, for just £100 million you get complete access to everything we know.’

According to their adverts, the new service offers, ‘the very latest premier league wire taps, clandestine ops and, of course, every text, email and phone call that anyone ever makes. All sent direct to your own phone, tablet or home computer. No need to tell us your details. We already know.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2013
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