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Posts Tagged ‘William Hague’

Cameron and Hague relearning foreign policy by playing Risk

The Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, having been caught flat-footed by recent geopolitical changes almost everywhere, have embarked on a marathon game of Risk to try and understand it all.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2014
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David Cameron’s forehead to be fitted with solar panels

He's blue. He's green. He's all points in between. David Cameron.Boris is keen to use it as an alternative to a third runway at Heathrow

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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Decisive EU warning on Crimea: ‘Eurovision will be really awkward this year’

Anything but Boom Bang-a-Bang, pleaseEuropean Union leaders have made their first common statement on the Ukraine crisis, warning Russia that its actions leave them no choice but to be ‘really, really frosty’ at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

‘The aggressive action of the Russian government towards a sovereign European state is unacceptable,’ the statement reads. ‘We are all completely in agreement that, unless the Crimea is returned to Ukrainian control, we will make things really, really awkward in the green room at this year’s Eurovision, make no mistake. We will certainly not cheer when the Russians come on, we will wave no Russian flags, and if anybody votes for them we will tut, not just firmly, but audibly.’

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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Captors release Libyan PM after William Hague tells them to

‘Terrorists all over the world are deeply afraid of William Hague; one stern retribution and the game is up.

‘We heard his voice on the radio,’ admitted Mr ben-Scari, ‘demanding the release of Ziedan, and we couldn’t chuck his excellency out of the front door fast enough.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2013
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British Intelligence launch subscription surveillance service, GCHQ+

can access your bank account and transfer subscription to save you the bother, if you likeBritain’s biggest spy agency, GCHQ, said it was addressing the commercial concerns of 21st Century espionage with the introduction of a new paywall. ‘The move heralds a brave new world of electronic surveillance,’ claimed Foreign Secretary William Hague. ‘Now, for just £100 million you get complete access to everything we know.’

According to their adverts, the new service offers, ‘the very latest premier league wire taps, clandestine ops and, of course, every text, email and phone call that anyone ever makes. All sent direct to your own phone, tablet or home computer. No need to tell us your details. We already know.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2013
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