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Posts Tagged ‘Wimbledon’

Referendum forces Britain to face prospect of being sh*t at tennis again

Sue Barker and Andrew Castle not ruling out a return to competitionThe worrying prospect of Britain returning to a status of national tennis shame has topped a list of concerns in the results of an online poll issued to England, Wales and Northern Ireland today, further fuelling the debate surrounding Scottish independence.

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014
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Scared Wombles ‘vow to defend themselves’ following TB outbreak in SW19

Reports linking a possible TB outbreak on Wimbledon Common to the activity of Wombles have been described as ‘malicious and untrue’ by their leader, Great Uncle Bulgaria. Fearing reprisals, he insisted the group would defend themselves, making very good use of the things that they’ve found, including several handguns and a batch of AK47s that were discovered under the bushes.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2013
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UK can ‘basically pack up now’ after Qatada deportation, Murray win

The prime minister David Cameron has suggested that, after Abu Qatada’s deportion and now Andy Murray’s Wimbledon victory, the United Kingdom has completed everything that was left to do and can now pack up and go home.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2013
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UK Armed Forces poised to take control if Murray fails to win Wimbledon

As the nation gathers around their TV sets to cheer on Andrew Murray, we are aware of counter movements that want him to fail and a small minority who inexplicably, couldn’t care less.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2013
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Abu Qatada vows to watch Wimbledon Final

‘The Wimbledon final is a great British tradition. I’m a huge Andy Murray fan and so extradition or no extradition I’ll be cheering for the Scot should he make it through.’

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2013
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