In a shocking revelation, Virginia Wade has confessed that she didn’t win Wimbledon in 1977 and that the whole thing was an elaborately staged plot.
Posted: Jun 25th, 2010
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There was an outbreak of mass hysteria at The All England Tennis Championships today after a member of the audience shouted ‘Come on Tim!’ even though there was nobody called Tim actually playing.
Posted: Jun 22nd, 2010
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News that vuvuzelas and other musical instruments are to be permitted at this year’s Wimbledon has been greeted enthusiastically by tennis fans as they prepare for the tournament next week. ‘Whilst Wimbledon has always maintained a quiet air of English dignity, it’s fair to say that hitherto the games have lacked a certain atmosphere,’ said Derek Howorth, president of the Lawn Tennis Association. ‘But we are confident that players and fans alike will delight in the addition of the South African horns to the spectator stands, playing such rousing anthems as The Great Escape, Self-Preservation Society and Haydn’s Trumpet Concerto in E flat major.’
Posted: Jun 17th, 2010
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Accident & Emergency departments were put on the highest alert yesterday morning at the start of two whole days without sport, amid reports of cack-handed men emerging from the sofa to tackle the backlog of DIY, often with devastating results.
Posted: Jul 7th, 2009
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Michelle Larcher de Brito, the latest tennis grunting sensation, was booed off the court at Wimbledon yesterday when it was revealed that she was miming. The crowd turned on the teen star when her ‘wounded fox’ recording began to skip, and continued playing while she was seen to be sitting down eating an energy bar between games.
Posted: Jun 24th, 2009
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