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News that vuvuzelas and other musical instruments are to be permitted at this year’s Wimbledon has been greeted enthusiastically by tennis fans as they prepare for the tournament next week. ‘Whilst Wimbledon has always maintained a quiet air of English dignity, it’s fair to say that hitherto the games have lacked a certain atmosphere,’ said Derek Howorth, president of the Lawn Tennis Association. ‘But we are confident that players and fans alike will delight in the addition of the South African horns to the spectator stands, playing such rousing anthems as The Great Escape, Self-Preservation Society and Haydn’s Trumpet Concerto in E flat major.’

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2010
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Accident & Emergency departments were put on the highest alert yesterday morning at the start of two whole days without sport, amid reports of cack-handed men emerging from the sofa to tackle the backlog of DIY, often with devastating results.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2009
More from News In Brief

Michelle Larcher de Brito, the latest tennis grunting sensation, was booed off the court at Wimbledon yesterday when it was revealed that she was miming. The crowd turned on the teen star when her ‘wounded fox’ recording began to skip, and continued playing while she was seen to be sitting down eating an energy bar between games.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2009
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‘It’s difficult when the only two tennis courts in Somalia are given over to grazing cattle.’

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2009
More from Sport, World News

large crowd gathered to watch the big screen at Wimbledon, now dubbed ‘Timmy’s telly’, as Henman made his commentating debut on the Woman’s singles game between Li and Rodionova. However, he was completely out-analysed by Francesco Nova, who was making his debut for SportItalia.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2008
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