NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘woman’

Woman refuses to give birth in Primark

not even the 50% off signs could tempt her inDespite being wracked with labour pains and hobbled by a small head erupting from her vagina, an unnamed 28-year-old woman from Birmingham has been hailed as a hero for resolutely refusing to be lulled by Primark’s promise of cut-price designer wear and give birth in the shop.

As her waters broke, her cervix dilated and her 25%-off voucher expired, the woman dragged herself away from the lure of a sale on floral dresses. Groaning as her membranes ruptured, every maternal instinct made her abandon a rail of bargain kids’ clothing in the hope that her child would be born to a better future, with better stitching.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014
More from UK News



Woman marries her own house

‘The selfish trollop only married it so that it didn’t get repossessed. She owes £15,000 in mortgage arrears. I feel so sorry for any rooms they end up having.’

Read more >

Posted: Feb 8th, 2012
More from News In Brief