Trading Standards Officers in Berkshire are investigating claims that major tissue manufacturers are misleading the public with spurious claims of enormous tissues. Once bought, it’s claimed, the tissues lead to further disappointment, which itself can end in tears, [read...]
At 12.37, Tuesday, Paul Webster (43) took the bold – some might say courageous – decision to hold a door open for a female work colleague, thus correcting decades of gender oppression and several episodes of Top Gear. [read...]
Female footballers are to be schooled in spouting meaningless rubbish to the media in a new initiative to bridge the capability gap between them and their male counterparts. It follows a shameful incident in the FIFA Women’s World Cup in which a player failed to answer a banal question regarding her feelings about scoring a goal with: ‘I’m over the moon but at the end of the day it’s all about the three points.’ [read...]
Said the President: ‘I’d personally like to congratulate our women-folk and shake them by the pussy, for winning that there World Cup Series Bowl. I’m sure they were inspired by Cavernpool beating Londonland Bonespurs in the EU Grandslam. [read...]
Pippa Forbury, an architectural technician from leafy Holmes Chapel in Cheshire, has been ostracised by her friends after making what in hindsight appears to have been a very poorly-calculated fashion faux pas.
‘I wanted a pair of ripped designer jeans just like all the girls in our set have but I didn’t want to pay £700 for them,’ [read...]