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Posts Tagged ‘work experience’

GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its bestAmidst concerns over failing educational standards, it was announced today that the GCSE is to be replaced by a Hunger Games-style contest, in which 16-year-olds will exchange statutory secondary school qualifications for a gladiatorial fight to the death. It is hoped that the new measures will not only improve unemployment statistics in the 16+ demographic, but also combat teenage obesity, pregnancy and undue dependence on Candy Crush Saga.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2013
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Unpaid jobseekers to debut for Portsmouth FC – or risk losing benefits

Crisis-hit football club Portsmouth FC today announced that it would be handing Championship debuts to four new players this Saturday, recruited to complete unpaid work experience under the government’s controversial Right To Work scheme for the long-term unemployed.

Due to its precarious financial position, the FA barred the club from signing any footballers in the January transfer window. And after selling a number of top players in a frantic cost-cutting exercise, manager Michael Appleton found himself short of a goalkeeper, a defender and two strikers for Saturday’s crucial fixture against fellow strugglers Bristol City.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2012
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Tories defend decision to offer work experience to LibDems

Employment Minister Chris Grayling has today defended the Government’s controversial scheme to offer work experience to Liberal Democrat MPs such as Nick Clegg.

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Posted: Feb 29th, 2012
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Bright-eyed enthusiasm of work experience girl crushed

Samantha O’Malley, a 15-year-old schoolgirl, was reported to have had her idealistic visions of future gainful employment completely destroyed on her first morning on work experience placement with the Human Resources and the Payroll departments of Hendersons’ Plumbing & Electrical Supplies, Woking.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2009
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Teenagers on work experience banned from air traffic control

‘You had to get these little planes on the screen onto this, like, narrow strip? It’s not as good as Grand Theft Auto, cos you only get one life.’

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2008
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