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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’

‘Look, can we all just focus on the poverty?’ says Brazil

it's only a gameBrazil has come out united in the fact that it’s the country’s disgraceful levels of poverty and inequality we should all really be focusing on.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
More from Politics, Sport



‘We’ll always have the bikini wax’ says a resolute Brazil

Last night the streets of Rio were lined with shell-shocked football fans, discarded yellow shirts and, as the year ended in 14, predictably rampant Germans. As a nation grieved and distanced itself from FIFA merchandising, Brazilian officials were quick to emphasize that it was ‘no big deal’ and that their real passion was actually for ‘the smooth framing of thongs’.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ladbrokes confirms God had £100 on Neymar injury

With many players praying for positive outcomes in the World Cup it came as no surprise to Ladbrokes manager Geoff Beesley when God walked into his shop and bet £5 on Columbia making it through to the semi-finals.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



David Miliband readied for last minute substitution in Election shoot-out

Labour Party chiefs, inspired by Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal’s last minute switch of goalkeeper in the Holland v Costa Rica World Cup quarter-final, are preparing a last gasp replacement of their own in the run up to next year’s General Election.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News