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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’

Ladbrokes confirms God had £100 on Neymar injury

With many players praying for positive outcomes in the World Cup it came as no surprise to Ladbrokes manager Geoff Beesley when God walked into his shop and bet £5 on Columbia making it through to the semi-finals.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2014
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David Miliband readied for last minute substitution in Election shoot-out

Labour Party chiefs, inspired by Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal’s last minute switch of goalkeeper in the Holland v Costa Rica World Cup quarter-final, are preparing a last gasp replacement of their own in the run up to next year’s General Election.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2014
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Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News



England defeat blamed on not enough flags back home

Sporting experts have put the blame on England’s 2:1 defeat to Italy squarely on the fans back home for their insufficient support with flags and bunting, and without a massive surge in flag waving over the next few days England’s chance of winning the tournament look slim. As usual.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014
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Iraq knocked out; ISIS to face Kurds in second round

still all to play for in the knock-out stageThe Iraqi World Cup finally has finally come to life with an explosive opening ceremony and exciting first round clash between the host nation and rivals ISIS.

The tournament is taking place in a number of arenas across the former Persian state, as teams from across the Arab world battle it out for the region’s ultimate trophy. After a dazzling opening ceremony featuring gunfire, parades of military hardware and a show of phosphorous lighting up the night sky, the teams marched in waving flags and singing patriotic songs before the world’s news media.

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2014
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