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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’

Suicide bid for Olympics

‘No bugger helped me to top myself,’ she said. ‘They just kept putting the boot in by lengthening the season.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2012
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Man who shook hands with Sepp Blatter apologises ‘for causing offence’

a simple gesture of respect and reconciliation, leaving the other hand free to accept cashA man who yesterday shook hands with embattled FIFA president Sepp Blatter has sought to downplay the significance of his actions and apologise for any offence he may have caused.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2011
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World cup robots programmed to foul, dive and swear at ref

Computer scientists who sought to make their footballing robots imitate the world’s greatest players have come unstuck by creating a team of cheats and pampered super-egos. The programmers set the robots to observe top players from around the world in the expectation that they would copy their soccer skills, but were shocked to see their robots faking injury, demanding higher wages and crashing their sports cars while drunk.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2011
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England netball fans slam media obsession with HaBs

‘It’s typical,’ said Brenda Wright of Netball Team United. ‘When Tamsin Greenway is named England vice-captain, it barely gets mentioned. But just because she goes out with one of the most successful plasterers in Watford, he’s all over the papers.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2011
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NATO to bomb FIFA

Colonel BlatterThe UN Security Council has agreed to use ‘all necessary means’ to protect 2.3 billion innocent yet hopeful football-mad civilians worldwide and end tyranny at the heart of football.

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Posted: May 30th, 2011
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