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Posts Tagged ‘World Cup’

Football fans ‘understanding’ as pub TV is switched to Sex and the City

stars got all moody just before half-time‘One or two of the lads mumbled a word or two of disappointment, but most of us felt pretty guilty for presuming the pub would be showing the football and not something the girls might want to watch.’

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2014
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Ref’s vanishing spray is whipped cream, claims Webb

FIFA super-ref Howard Webb has revealed that the new ‘vanishing spray’ he’s been issued with for this year’s World Cup to help make free kicks fairer is indistinguishable from whipped cream, and just as tasty.

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2014
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England squad tipped for great rendition of God Save the Queen

might make tactical substitution at half time and hum The Great Escape insteadEngland manager and singing coach Roy Hodgson has told a press conference that his side ‘can’t wait’ to get out onto the pitch and ‘sing their little hearts out’ before their opening World Cup match on Saturday.

‘We’re very excited about this young group’ he said. ‘We’ve got some great talent coming through. We sang well in all of our qualifying matches, and there’s no-one in the tournament we fear will outsing us in a head-to-head national anthem, especially the ones with no words.’

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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Amazon Stadium pitch to get six more undercoats

A FIFA press release today claims that the Manaus pitch for Saturday’s England v Italy match will have the silken surface of a Rolls Royce and the glitter of a Lamborghini. ‘Nothing’s being left to chance,’ boasted Bob Ormeroyd, Grimsby-born Chairman of the influential Southern Hemisphere Grounds & Facilities Committee.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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Suarez set to face England in a wheelchair

Uruguay’s star striker Luis Suarez is to play against England in the World Cup after training hard and showing that even in a wheelchair he was still good enough to run rings around the England defence.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2014
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