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Posts Tagged ‘X-Factor’

Rejected reality TV contestants discovered in sack in river Thames

 just being chosen for the sack meant the world to them‘They weren’t making any noise but there was movement so I knew there was something alive in there’.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2014
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Glastonbury goers ‘furious’ as Chris de Burgh announced as emergency headline act

‘I’m currently working with festival co-ordinators to see how we can stretch out a performance of The Lady in Red over two days.’

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2014
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‘Debbie’s Law’ to reveal if partners have a history of ‘being boring’

A new law that could be passed within months will make men and women aware of previous instances of ‘dullness’ and ‘boring behaviour’ in their partners.

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Posted: May 5th, 2014
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Britain to become satanist by next Thursday

Confusion continues to mount about Britain’s religious status after theological experts extrapolated data to show that the country could be “mostly satanist”, possibly by as soon as Thursday.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2014
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Nick Clegg to resort to ‘mum jokes’ in all future live debates

"I agree with Nick"Crestfallen Nick Clegg has been advised by his publicists to adopt a more ‘ruthless approach’ in all future live debates, by resorting to ‘mum jokes’ when backed into a corner by his opponent.

Clegg’s recent debate with UKIP’s Nigel Farage on Britain and the EU, televised live on BBC Two, resulted in UKIP storming home with a massive 68% of votes in a snap YouGov survey, leaving the Lib Dems with no other choice than to court the ‘mum joke’ vote.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2014
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