After flooding wrecked some houses in parts of Cumbria for a second or even a third time this month, local residents have been asked to spare a thought for others. Most of those in the merely soggy parts of Britain are facing up to a nightmarish Christmas Day in the hearts of their families. [read...]
UN representatives have admitted to an impasse in negotiations for a lasting peace over television priorities during the festive period. Families have been split asunder, with a divide between cinematic-slapstick and filmic messages of love; [read...]
In a milestone for international space travel and cosmic cable-laying, proud astronaut Tim Peake has achieved the dream and crimped off the first ever British length on an orbital space station.
After having jettisoned his historic teddys’ [read...]
Police have warned the public that in the run up to Christmas to be on the lookout for the tell-tale signs of family members experimenting with ‘festive highs’. Fears have been raised that elderly relatives may be turning unpalatable lumps of ginger into moreish treats; [read...]
An internal investigation by FIFA has resulted in an eight year exclusion from footballing activities for Mr. Blatter and his ‘little helper’ UEFA boss, Michel Platini. In further developments Santa Claus has banned the duo from receiving tax-free ‘gifts’, [read...]