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Posts Tagged ‘youths’

Gangsters to create 300 new jobs in Manchester

Manchester’s premier criminal syndicate has announced it will be opening up three hundred new positions in their local gangs in the area. New applicants should apply in the back alley of Tibb Street, knock three times on the door and say the password ‘Lotusflower’.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Scotland to gift two ‘NEDS’ to China in return for pandas

Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond today signed an historic agreement to send two giant Scottish neds (non-educated delinquents) to the People’s Republic of China.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2011
More from Environment



Halloween update; local youths ‘less frightening than usual’

‘I can cope with skeleton masks, devil outfits and ghost costumes. It’s the rest of the year when they lurk around with their hoods up that terrifies me.’

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2008
More from UK News



Famous Five served with ASBOs

‘They need to stop sticking their nose in other people’s business and wasting our time.’

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2008
More from Arts/Entertainment