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Posts Tagged ‘zoo’

Birth of ‘rare’ West African giraffe excites Danish lions

While a Cumbria Zoo has been celebrating the arrival of an animal normally only seen in the wilds of Niger, predators in Copenhagen have been hard pressed to restrain their salivation. Since their success in disguising an ‘all you can eat giraffe buffet’ as environmentally-friendly euthanasia, Scandinavian lions have been getting particularly ‘skittish’; demanding ‘gazelles with long necks’ to sate their new appetite.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2014
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Complaint of animal-like behaviour prompts arrest at zoo

Police were called to Whipsnade Zoo earlier today after CCTV coverage showed a man making a racist gesture towards a lady from Kettering. The man, originally from the Congo but now living near Dunstable, is said to have fondled his genitals, made other inappropriate gestures, waved a banana and made racist noises, while swinging from a tyre in one of the zoo’s compounds.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2012
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Liberal Democrats officially ‘extinct in the wild’, says conservation body

The International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) has downgraded the survival prospects of Liberal Democrats, declaring the species officially ‘extinct in the wild’. Political conservationistshave been fighting for years to save the endangered creature (Latin name: Politicus ineptus) from dying out in its traditional habitats of university towns and the West Country. The [...]

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2012
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Scots’ Justice Secretary to release Pandas on compassionate grounds

Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
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Public warned after Jeremy Paxman escapes from BBC

The police have warned members of the public to stay indoors after a Jeremy Paxman escaped from his enclosure in the Newsnight studio and is roaming wild in the streets of London.

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Posted: Dec 7th, 2011
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