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Posts Tagged ‘zoo’

Berlusconi doing community service inseminating pandas

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was recently sentenced to a year’s community service for tax fraud, has found work inseminating a giant panda at Edinburgh zoo, following failed attempts to mate her with a male panda. The zoo and the 77-year-old billionaire’s lawyers said that they were satisfied that the ruling was a win-win, allowing him to remain both politically and sexually active.

‘Tian Tian’s hormone levels had been falling drastically and at first she spurned his advances, but this didn’t deter Mr Berlusconi in the least,’ said Charles Osborne, director of breeding at Edinburgh. ‘He used all his experience and charm to woo her successfully and, fingers crossed, we hope to be able to announce shortly that she is expecting, er, something.’

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
More from World News



Birth of ‘rare’ West African giraffe excites Danish lions

While a Cumbria Zoo has been celebrating the arrival of an animal normally only seen in the wilds of Niger, predators in Copenhagen have been hard pressed to restrain their salivation. Since their success in disguising an ‘all you can eat giraffe buffet’ as environmentally-friendly euthanasia, Scandinavian lions have been getting particularly ‘skittish’; demanding ‘gazelles with long necks’ to sate their new appetite.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Complaint of animal-like behaviour prompts arrest at zoo

Police were called to Whipsnade Zoo earlier today after CCTV coverage showed a man making a racist gesture towards a lady from Kettering. The man, originally from the Congo but now living near Dunstable, is said to have fondled his genitals, made other inappropriate gestures, waved a banana and made racist noises, while swinging from a tyre in one of the zoo’s compounds.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2012
More from News In Brief



Liberal Democrats officially ‘extinct in the wild’, says conservation body

The International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) has downgraded the survival prospects of Liberal Democrats, declaring the species officially ‘extinct in the wild’. Political conservationistshave been fighting for years to save the endangered creature (Latin name: Politicus ineptus) from dying out in its traditional habitats of university towns and the West Country. The [...]

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Posted: Jan 31st, 2012
More from News In Brief



Scots’ Justice Secretary to release Pandas on compassionate grounds

Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
More from News In Brief