The Writer of the Month award was introduced in 2008 to honour excellence in the heating and ventilation industry – no, hang on: ‘to acknowledge the talents and efforts of those writers who have made the best contribution to the site over the previous month’.  The lucky winner gets added to our Hall of Fame and their name engraved on the large marble plaque in our plush West London headquarters.

Our very own Throngsman has kindly provided a summary of who is in the lead for this month. http://nbwom.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/welcome-to-unofficial-newsbiscuit.html Russian hackers beware!

Roll of Honour, Rogues’ Gallery and Interpol’s ‘Most Wanted’

	Oxbridge retired from satire to spend more time with his family.  His family has promised to get him back into satire as soon as they can.		Nealdoran’s likes include sunset walks on the beach and world peace, while his dislikes include negative people, war, and cellulite.
	Ianslat’s advice to anyone wanting to write is “don’t work in insurance”. It won’t help you write, but it’s still excellent advice.		Mary Evans contrived her ingenious nom de plume after unearthing an historic text in her loft, later discovered to be her own birth certificate.
	Genghis Cohen is a born winner and renowned military strategist, having beaten millions of rivals to be named World’s Best Dad last Father’s Day.		Skylarking has developed something of a cult following over the last few years since leaving the Church of Scientology with the negatives in his bag.
	The Paper Ostrich is a latecomer to the world of writing for pleasure, having previously viewed it with the suspicion of the peasant.		Darkbill’s hobbies include wealth, power, making witches hats, hill-walking and murder. Her only dislikes are sprouts, the M11 and the song ‘Pipes of Peace’
	Des Custard is currently serving a stretch in Tunbridge Wells; he was lured onto the wrong side of the tracks and is still trying to find his way back.		RoyBland agrees with Kingsley Amis that, ‘If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing’, but has to be careful not to alienate his teashop customers.
	Ludicity was abandoned as a child and raised by a family of otters. This year he secured a worldwide patent. He now owns the rights to everything.		Stoopy De Gunt says if his writing ever does bring about world peace, he’d like to be a beauty contestant.
	JP1885 lives deep in the wilds of Herefordshire and will continue to write articles and one-liners for your delectation – court order or no court order.		La maga is committed to attacking trees with chainsaws until the publishing industry offers to do so instead. One way or another those trees will meet their maker.
	Golgol13 left Japan with an appreciation for patience, karaoke and communal bathing; but now libels his friends by using their names in Newsbiscuit articles.		Stan Laurel’s been writing since the black and white era. By day he pretends to be an insurance consultant. On the weekends he pretends to be a husband and father.