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    Lockjaw
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Sweet Caroline found guilty of touching Hans inappropriately

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    antharrison
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Delight as plucky England secure second place in regional football contest

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    FlashArry
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Boris Johnson unveils new 'Pontius Pilate' tribute act

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    10
    Al OPecia
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Three Lions songsheet to come with bottle of Tipp-Ex and Letraset numbers.

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    10
    Smart Alex
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Billionaire who wanted government bailout for airline flies to edge of space

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    Lucrative pizza ads beckon for England’s young lions after Wembley penalty woes
    Chipchase
    • Jul 13, 2021
    • 1 min

    Lucrative pizza ads beckon for England’s young lions after Wembley penalty woes

    Even as a nation's tears flowed, following England's defeat in the final of the Euros at Wembley on Sunday, it turns out that it's not...
    10
    Dinosaurs to make comeback tour
    Sydalg
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 1 min

    Dinosaurs to make comeback tour

    After an absence from public life of over 60 million years, Stegosaurus and Brontosaurus could be roaming the country again soon for a...
    10
    COVID beaten, PM confirms
    Chipchase
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 1 min

    COVID beaten, PM confirms

    Thanks to Britain's world-beating handling of the Covid 19 pandemic, Boris Johnson has confirmed the illness will no longer exist on our...
    00
    Met Police launches new recruitment drive aimed at divorced alcoholic mavericks
    Ronseal
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 2 min

    Met Police launches new recruitment drive aimed at divorced alcoholic mavericks

    The Met Police has defended a new recruitment advertising campaign which targets alcoholics, divorcees, misfits, mavericks and veterans...
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    Sir Lupus
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 1 min

    "England football team? Never heard of that bunch of losers" backtracks Boris.

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    10
    Mick Turate
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 1 min

    Euroexit means Euroexit.

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    00
    Al OPecia
    • Jul 12, 2021
    • 1 min

    Some tennis thing. More soon.

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    20
    Virgin Galactic bus replacement service 'ready to go'
    Throngsman
    • Jul 11, 2021
    • 1 min

    Virgin Galactic bus replacement service 'ready to go'

    Virgin Galactic has said a bus replacement service is ready should there be any problems with the flight scheduled to take Virgin...
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    Filming begins on gruesome sequel, Headless In Seattle
    Midfield Diamond
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    Filming begins on gruesome sequel, Headless In Seattle

    WINNER: Midfield Diamond RUNNERS UP Men of Stepford unsure what to make of their new wives (from Paul L) Struggling Holiday Inn chain...
    341
    Pandas are f$ck machines
    Wrenfoe
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    Pandas are f$ck machines

    It is official, pandas are off the endangered list and back on Tinder. After years of conservation and bucket loads of lube, China has...
    20
    Shock, as politician attends football match without his photographer
    Wrenfoe
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    Shock, as politician attends football match without his photographer

    Ticket sales reveal that for the Euro Final, half of Wembley’s seats are allocated to MPs ‘on a freebie’ and the other half to their...
    10
    South China Sea extended to include Antarctic penguins
    Guest Author
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    South China Sea extended to include Antarctic penguins

    After China constructed a military airbase in Antarctica under the watchful eyes of a colony of chinstrap penguins, the Foreign Minister...
    10
    Football calls ahead and asks you to pop the kettle on
    Vertically Challenged Giant
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    Football calls ahead and asks you to pop the kettle on

    Since last coming home in the 1966, football has travelled extensively, including extended spells in South America visiting Brazil and...
    20
    ITV commentator in training for full meltdown tonight
    jeremymh
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    ITV commentator in training for full meltdown tonight

    'On Wednesday, I pretty much aced the last minute of the England-Denmark match for TV viewers with a hysterical and possibly...
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    Doing wheelies in traffic 'unavoidable' says teenager
    Paul L
    • Jul 10, 2021
    • 1 min

    Doing wheelies in traffic 'unavoidable' says teenager

    Tests also showed that as the teenagers get older the less frequently the fault happens. 'We believe this to be down to accumulation of...
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